Run to you
by LilyJet
Summary: Leah loved being a werewolf, but now it was only causing her trouble. Can Leah and Christian's relationship survive all this or will her big secret get in their way? Leah/OC
1. Fight

**Summary.** She is afraid to tell him she loves him, because she's scared he'll go away. But what if that's just he reason he would go?

* * *

**01. **Fight

It wasn't like we never fought, we did. But this time something was different. It wasn't about the dirty laundry, or which television programme we should watch. No, it was much worse. We were standing in front of each other, with faces red from all the anger and shouting. His dark brown hair was all over the place, because of all the times he ran his hands through it. My head was almost hurting from the way my face was twisted in anger.

'Why can't you just tell me where you go all the time? Whenever Sam calls, you immediately run out of the house. Why?' His voice almost sounded desperate. Angry, but desparate. He wouldn't think-?

'You don't think I'm having a affair with Sam, do you?' I asked to be sure. The way he didn't answer me, was enough to tell me what he was thinking.

'How in the world could you think something like that? You know we broke up years ago! I am with you now, not with him!' Now it was my voice that sounded desperate.

'I don't know what to think anymore. If you could just tell me the-'

'The truth?' I interrupted. 'I can't tell you that. Why can't you just trust me? I'm your girlfriend.' Suddenly, I felt a wave of nausea coming up, but I tried to ignore it.

'And I'm your boyfriend! I try to trust you, but you are making it a bit difficult, with all your little secrets.'

I pushed back the vomit that treated to come out before shouting, 'Well, then maybe it's time for you to go. For us to stop being boyfriend and girlfriend.' I was shaking with anger, my hands tightly balled up in fists.

For a few seconds he closed his eyes and ran his hand over his face, he opened his eyes and looked me right in the eye, I felt like he could see right into my soul. Then he nodded slowly, grabbed his coat and walked out of the door.

The moment I heard the door close, I ran to the bathroom and threw up all the things I had eaten that day.

* * *

Never in my whole life had I ever felt so miserable. Not when Sam left me, or when my Dad died, not even when I turned into an enormous beast for the first time, or anytime after. Right now, I was laying on the bathroom floor, my stomach emptied from all its contents. And, although I would never admit it, tears were streaming down my face.

The last time I had been sick, was when I was turning into a werewolf. And now I even felt worse. Oh wait, I didn't even explain that part. Well, here we go! I was already in the middle of a little cry fest, why not make it a bit worse?

I am Leah Clearwater. My life has always been very normal. I lived with my father, mother and (annoying!) little brother Seth in a reserve called La Push. Everybody knew each other, which was kind of nice as a little kid, because you knew you would always be save, but was less fun when we became older, I'm sure you understand.

But, things started to change in the reserve when I was around 18 years old. A few guys, among them my ex-boyfriend Sam, started to grow taller. And not just grow, but _grow._ It was like they were on steroids. They would disappear for a few weeks, and when they came back, they were _huge_.

Sam and I met each other at school. I had a huge crush on him for a few months, so when he asked me out, I couldn't wait to say yes! At first we went slow, because we were kind of young, 15. But after a while, we couldn't ignore how much we lo- _liked­_ the other, and we became more serious. I even let myself think about marriage. And then _it_ happened.

When Sam disappeared, I was sick with worry. Instantly I was searching the whole reserve for him. After two weeks he came back, and I knew somthing had changed. He had grown almost two feet and was mucht more muscled (not that he wasn't before, but it was just not that- obvious). He never told me what happened, and I was almost afraid to ask. For a few weeks everything went, well not fine, but it was okay. We kind of ignored it.

Every holiday I would visit my cousin Emily, or she would came to me. Because I didn't want to leave Sam, I asked her to come to my house this holiday. I was looking forward to seeing Emily again, since we were like sisters. We even looked a bit alike. On the second day of Emily's visit, I asked Sam to join us for supper, so he could meet Emily. The minute he stepped over the threshold, his eyes were drawn to Emily's face. She blushed under his fierce gaze. My heart stopped. The kind of look he used while watching her, was the same I had recieved from him, but then even a little bit intenser.

This was exactly what I was afraid of, why I hadn't introduced them to the other earlier. Even though we looked alike, Emily was a much more beautiful version of me. All the guys wanted to go out with her, not with boring little me. So when Sam, the love of my life- or something- fell for her, it was like I was hit by a train.

At first I pretended that nothing had happend. I put on a smile for the rest of the evening, and was the perfect host to Emily during her stay. But inside I felt like screaming, crying, punching someone.

Sam and Emily didn't meet again, or so I thought. But when I came back from grocerie shopping with my Mum one afternoon, they were there, in our living room, kissing.

My chest hurt so bad, but I could still manage to scream at them to get the –not so nice word- out of my house. They sprang apart, with shocked looks on their faces, but no real regret could be found there. I quickly ran away to my bedroom to cry on my bed, in the living room I could hear my mother tell them that they best go somewhere else.

After I woke up the morning after, with a headache from all the crying, I promised myself to never cry over a man again.

For a few months I lived like a depressed teenager. My family tried to cheer me up, but after a few weeks my parents gave up. Seth, my little brother didn't, and although I would never admit it to him of anyone else, I'm very grateful for that.

When the news came about Emily being mauled by a bear, somewhere deep in my heart, I couldn't help but laugh evilly, karma's a bitch. I heard one side of her face had three scars running down to her arm.

But, next to that place deep down in my heart, another part of me was crying for her. We had shared everything with each other when we were young, we were like _sisters_. This was something you wouldn't even wish your greatest enemy.

And then something else happened. Both Seth and I hadn't been feeling all that great for a few days. On one day, all of a sudden we became very sick. We had a high fever and our bones ached, like they where growing too fast. I would never have guessed what happened next: we turned into huge wolves. It was a big shock, I can tell you that!

The shock was even so great, that my father suffered from a heart attack, and died. So, in a few days I became a werewolf and did my father die. It wasn't a very good week, and it made me even more depressed and bitter.

One night, the week after Seth and I had turned in to wolves for the first time, Sam and Old Quil, one of the council leaders, came to visit us. They told us all about the legends and other things about werewolves.

One of the points was the pack. And Sam was the Alpha, the leader. God, did I wanted to die right there! My ex, being my _boss_? Even under normal circumstances I didn't deal well with authority.

Another thing was the mind reading-business. Apparently we could hear each other's thoughts when we were in wolfform. It only got better!

The tribal Elders, couldn't figure out why I had turned in to a wolf. It seemed that I was the first and only wolf in history. Talk about a freak of nature!

At the end of the evening I was seriously considering killing myself. But, I didn't want to be cruel to Mum and Seth, so I decided I shoudn't. Not then anyway.

It turned I loved be a wolf. Well, no, that's not completely true. I loved being free, _when_ being a wolf. All the mind reading, Alpha, _infertile- _issues, I could do without. Infertile? Yes, when I transformed, I stopped menstruating too (sorry, but while I'm sharing all my dirty little secrets, this can be added to the list too. I don't have much shame of privacy anyways). So, no little puppies for me. That part actually hurt a bit. It wasn't like I couldn't wait to become a mother, but I had envisioned myself with children.

That night, they also told me about Sam and Emily. It was hard to keep my tears form falling down at that point, but I managed to do it. Sam had imprinted on her. When a wolf imprints, he has found his soul mate. Nothing or nobody matters, only his imprint. So even when he loved me, he couldn't help but loving Emily more. And it turned out that he was the one that had attacked her, he had lost his control while she was too close to him. For a short couple of minutes, my heart ached for her.

Luckily I quickly regained my focus, and started hating the _happy couple_ again.

* * *

But, back to the situation at hand. The nausea had ebbed away, while the tears couldn't stop. The only thing I could hear were my ragged breath and raw sobs. I had just broken my own promise to never cry about a man. Bugger.

It's actually really weird that I'm sick, because werewolves don't get sick. Ever. We heal fast. If I cut my writs now, tomorrow nobody would see a wound or even a scar.

_That's not a bad idea, slitting your wrists, isn't it?_

OK, now I'm also talking to myself in an annoying little voice. It's almost like I'm in wolf form and one of my pack_brothers_ is thinking. You have no idea what kind of things teenaged boys think. It's quite disturbing, I can tell you that!

Wait, I think I know why I'm feeling sick. Because I just broke up with my imprint. Yes, my _imprint._ It wasn't something I ever expected to happen to me, but it did. At this point I'm not even sure I'm happy it happened.

The house a little down the road from ours, had been empty for a few years. It was probably because the old owner had laid there for a couple of days, dead. Everybody was surprised to see a moving van with guys lifting stuff to the house one day in spring. The rumor was that there would be living a young man, only a couple years older than myself. He also was a Native American, like the Quilleutes, but from another tribe. Of course, I wasn't really expecting him to be- well, you know.

And when I went to the bonfire which had been organized to welcome him to our reserve, I had the shock of my life. Then, when I had seen him, my eyes wouldn't leave his face, and I couldn't stop thinking about him. I was fascinated by the way his eyes sparkled, the shininess of his smooth hair, I loved how the fire cast shadows on his dark skin.  
Everytime I thought of him, my heart would start beating fast and my breath would come in short gasps.

After that evening, I avoided Christian, which is his name, for the month that followed. If I saw him walking down the street, I would run into the forest and in the grocerie store I hid behind my mother (which didn't really work, obviously). I was praying he hadn't seen me, not just because I was trying to make this imprint-thing to go away, but also because I didn't want to make myself look like a fool in front of him.

Naturally, the pack knew all about me imprinting. When we were in wolf form they would think about their meetings with him, in human form they made kissing noises and stuff. Luckily werewolves heal fast, otherwise all their noses would have looked _funny _for a long time.

Then there was one moment, where I couldn't ignore him. My mother had invited him to dinner. I tried to come up with all kinds of excuses, but my mother wouldn't have it. I had to be there.

During supper I sat stiffly on my chair, barely eating, which is quite rare for werewolves, seeing as we have super fast metaboslisms. Sometimes I saw his eyes staring at me from the corner of my eye, but when I turned my head in his direction, Christian would look away.

At the end of the evening, my brother disappeard to go patrolling and my mother decided to head to bed early. I could hit myself on the head; they had planned this!

First I was very nervous, very unlike me. Slowly we started talking and in the end it felt kind of... natural. We talked about our families, our dreams (I pretend I still had all the options, while in reality, those had all been thrown away when I had transformed the first time), it felt good. So when he asked me if I wanted to have lunch with him the next day, I eagerly accepted.

It didn't take long for us to become more serious, I even moved in with Christian after a year of dating. There was only one problem, I couldn't tell him about my being a wolf and all the things around it. That caused some fights between us, but next to that, everything had been perfect for over two years.

Oh wait, no, there was another problem too, while he said _I love you_ quite often, I couldn't. I knew I loved him, but I couldn't _say_ it. That also didn't sit well on him.

So lately there had been some tension. And now it was over. God, that made me need to vomit again.

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_This is my (first) Leah/OC story. I really like Leah and it's sad she wasn't that much in the Twilight series.  
English isn't my first language (Dutch is, if you're interested) so there may be a few mistakes. I hope you will forgive of correct me when I'm wrong.  
I hope you enjoyed it, and please review!_


	2. Annoying little puppies, or brothers

**Disclaimer: **Oops, totally forgot last chapter. So, I- obviously- do not own anything from the (amazing) Twilight series.

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**Summary. **She is afraid to tell him she loves him, because she's scared he'll go away. But what if that's just the reason he would go?

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**02. **Annoying little puppies (or brothers)

The next morning I was sill lying on the bathroom floor. My head was pounding from all the crying, my hand was wrapped around my stomach because my nausea was back. God, I didn't know I would feel so bad when I would break up with my imprint.

Slowly I sat up, the world spinning in front of my eyes. I groaned. Great, just great! I tried to get back on my feet, I only managed to do that with the help of the edge of the bathtub, I felt like an handicapped old lady.

I made my way to the kitchen, step by step, my stomach was making growling sounds. Grabbing the cereal and milk, I sat down at the counter. The first few bites didn't even touch my mouth, but went straight to my stomach. I had never ever felt so hungry. After I ate all the cereal- I needed to go grocery shopping- I saw the light from the answering machine blinking. Slowly I walked over to it, still feeling a bit weak, and pressed the button.

'_You have one new message.' _

'_Leah? It's Christian.' _Silence. Oh no, there was more. '_I will be staying at a hotel in Port Angeles for a few days and then I will go visit my parents.. I think we need to clear our heads a bit, need to take a break. I will buy some clothes here, so you don't have to see me.' _Again silence. '_I love you.' _

He was staying at a hotel and would then go to his parents. That kind of hurt. Why didn't he came back to talk, to make things right? And why didn't he stay at his own- Oh, right, this was actually _his_ house. Maybe I should move out. Or wasn't it over yet? What does "taking a break" mean? I wasn't sure, I wasn't sure of anything at this point.

I shrugged, it didn't matter. The only thing I could think about was my bed. No, not my bed, _our_ bed. Tears started to fall down my face again. I guess I will be using the bed in the guest room then.

* * *

'Leah?' I could hear a voice calling my name, but everything was a bit fuzzy. 'Leah, where are you?' Slowly I came back to the world or living (and unliving. You see, not only do werewolves exist, there are also vampires out there. You're never save in Forks!).

'Leah!' Had this person never heard of sleeping or something? It's something you do at-

'Leah? Why are you in bed? It's three thirty in the afternoon!' Oh.

'Seth. Hi.' I saw my baby brother (OK, he was over six feet tall, but I couldn't see him as anything different) standing in the doorway, looking a bit confused.

'Are you OK, Leah? Where's Christian?' At the mention of his name, tears started to leak from my eyes again. In a flash Seth was beside me on the bed, hugging me close to his warm body. In any other situation I would have punched him right on the nose, but now it was kind of nice.

I explained to him what had happened yesterday (which turned out to be two days ago!) and the weeks before. My tears wouldn't stop falling down.

Finally, after almost an hour of being a blubbering mess, I could compose myself. I let myself enjoy Seth's warmness for one more minute, before pushing him of the bed. 'Why are you here, by the way?'

The understanding in Seth's eyes about me suddenly turning on my Bitch-mode, was almost too much, so I tried not to look at him.

'You weren't doing patrols this afternoon, so Sam said I had to see if you were OK after my patrol. Naturally I ignored the "after your patrol" part, and came straight here.' Oh, how I love little brothers who hated ex-boyfriends, even when said ex-boyfriend was the Alpha of the pack.

_Note to self: get rid of fuzzy feeling in stomach. Now! _

I'm talking to myself again, what's wrong with me?

My head jerked up when I heard Seth's stomach grumble. He smiled his stupid old grin (See! I haven't lost my touch; I still find my brother annoying) and said with that whiny voice of his, 'Leaaaaah! Could you please make me some food? I'm huuuuuuungry.'

God, he looked twenty-five, but acted four. It's sad. For me. That I have to live with that, to know that he's family. Although, maybe he's adopted. Maybe some kind of psycho woman decided she didn't want a kid after all and gave him away to my Mum, and my mother, the kind person that she is, couldn't refuse, even though she knew the child must be a nutcase. Yes, that's it. Or not. We'll never know.

Seth shook me gently, taking me out of my crazy thoughts. 'Geez, I will feed you already, you big puppy!' I always called him a puppy, and I think he quietly enjoyed. Again, sad.

I pushed the thin sheets away and stood up slowly. My legs felt like spaghetti after laying in bed for so long. When I looked at Seth, his nose was wrinkled. I hoped he wouldn't say what I thought he would. Naturally, he did. 'Leah? Maybe you should shower first? You're not really- Ouch!' He grabbed his nose, blood streaming down between his large fingers. Jerk.

* * *

An half an hour later I walked in to the kitchen, freshly showered and clothed in an old sports shirt from Christian and comfy sweatpants. As a werewolf I was taller than most girls. Luckily Christian was even taller, and broader, so it didn't feel weird to stand next to him. I could even wear heels, and he would be taller then me. Not that I ever wore heels, but still. Christian would often tell me I looked sexy in his clothes.

Tears! Go away! I, the composed and calm Leah, do not cry! I do not!

I turned back to Seth, who I had turned my back on when the tears came in my eyes, and asked what he wanted to eat. His nose looked normal again, there were no signs of me punching him. Hmm, too bad. I didn't even let him answer, because I suddenly caved omelettes with cheese. Lots of cheese. And I didn't even like omelettes. Or cheese. Must be the break-up blues.

It didn't take long for me to finish cooking and we both hungrily attacked our food. It tasted like heaven, I didn't know I could cook this good. Not to sound conceited or something.

After scraping our plates clean I said to Seth, 'Shouldn't you go patrol, or something?' Somewhere deep in my heart I didn't want him to go. I was turning in to one very pathetic girl. Werewolf. What_ever._

Maybe Seth sensed I didn't want to be alone, because he said he wanted to kick my but at Halo. 'Shall we go to Mum's house so we gan play?'

Seth and I had been addicted to playing games on the playstation ever since we were young. We used to play all the time, it drove our parents mad. They thought it wasn't healthy to play those games all the time. But no punishments or orders could stop us. Now it was even therapeutic.

'Um- sure?' My reply came out more like a question. 'Why don't you head there already? I need to clean up here and stuff.' The truth was that I didn't feel so well and I didn't want to puke all over my mother's floor. She could be quite scary when angry.

Seth left not long after that, making me promise not to wait too long, because he felt like he was in the right "flow" to win. Sure. Like he had ever beat me. Well, maybe once, but I had food poisoning then, so it doesn't really count.

The little bit of happiness I had felt when Seth was here, quickly left me. I went to the bathroom, not wanting to clean up anyway. The gleaming white tiles almost hurt my eyes. I splashed some water in my face, and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I was shocked. My brown eyes seemed dull and my skin looked strangely pale.

I asked myself if everybody separated from their imprint felt like this. No wonder Jared and Kim were joined at the hips. No wonder little Claire was never seen without Quil. If Sam had felt like this when he had been away from Emily, with me, I could almost understand why he choose her. Almost, I'm not a very understanding person.

I know, it sounds like I'm still bitter over Sam, but I'm totally over him. It just... I was very hurt back then, and now I can't help but still feel- rejected, even when I'm- was?- very, _very_, happy with Chris.

I put my elbows on the edge of the sink and rested my head in my hands. Slowly I breathed in and out, trying to suppress the upcoming feeling of nausea. God! I hated to be so dependent on a man, even my health changed when he was away. Maybe I should talk to Christian, try to make up. I didn't want to feel this way my whole life.

The phone rang, causing me to lift my head too quickly. The world span in front of my eyes. Slowly I walked- is it just me or was I walking slow all the time now? I'm a wolf, damn it, I'm supposed to be fast!- to the phone and picked up. 'This is Leah.' My voice sounded breathless.

'Hi, it's Sam. Are you allright? You weren't doing your patrols this afternoon.' Even though he sounded concerned, he also sounded a bit angry. Oops.

'I'm...fine. I didn't feel well so I fell asleep. I slept two days straight.' My voice sounded weak, I berated myself in my head.

'Why didn't Christian wake you up then?' The way he said Christian's name wasn't all that friendly. They had never really liked each other. Ugh, men and their power struggles.

'He, um, wasn't- isn't- here.' My throat started to choke up and I prayed Sam hadn't heard it. Naturally he did, because his voice suddenly started to sound a bit friendlier.

'OK. You know what? You don't have to patrol the next few days. Make sure you will feel better soon. Bye.'

Before I could tell him I wasn't weak or something, he had hung up. Well, who was I to complain to some free time? I didn't feel like patrolling anyway, I didn't want all the boys to know how I felt. Of course they would know everything that happened with Seth a few moments ago, but still. It had always been fun to torment them by thinking- well, sometimes- mean things, I just didn't feel like I could handle it if they would do it to me. I would probably cry. Again.

I put the phone, which I still held in my hand, back on the receiver, walked to the door, not caring about doing the dishes or cleaning, and crabbed a coat, Christian's. Normally I didn't need one, I would only wear a thin jacket so people wouldn't find it odd to see me in a t-shirt during winter, but now I felt a bit chilled.

When I stepped out of the door, I was met with a huge gust of wind. The sky was grey and bit fat raindrops were falling down, soaking me. The weather looked just like I felt.

It wasn't a long walk to my Mum's ( and Seth's – he was too lazy to get a job to pay for the rent) house, still I was soaked through the bone. Great. This was my lucky day, week.

I was happy when I opened the door and felt the warmth surround me. I shrugged off the jacket, put it in the closet and went to the kitchen to greet my Mum, while trying to wring the water out of my dark brown, almost black hair. If you were ever looking for my Mum, the first place you should check was the kitchen. Ninety-five percent of the time you could find her there, cooking, cleaning or reading at the kitchen table. Today was no different.

She was busy stirring some sort of dough, her hair was in a messy ponytail and some of the white flour was smeared on her left cheek.

'Hi, mum,' I greeted and kissed her on her clean cheek, while trying to wipe the flour of the other one.

'Hello, sweetheart.' My mother sounded distracted. 'I'm trying this recipe Katy Miller gave me. I think she left something out purposely, 'cause she's afraid my banana-carrot cookies will be better then hers. That little...' Yes, my Mum and the other ladies were very competitive about their cooking.

'Mum, you don't need that recipe. Your cookies _are_ the best.' My mother stopped stirring and smiled, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 'You and your brother eat anything that isn't poisonous and then so fast, you can hardly taste it. But thanks, honey.'

Me and my mother had always been close. We used to tell each other everything. Something changed after my father died. He had suffered from a heart attack because Seth and I had turned in to wolves. The shock was too big. Although it wasn't really our fault, I still felt like it was, and she did too, somewhere deep down. She would never admit it, but sometimes she would look at us with sad eyes, like it hurt to look at us. It wasn't something I was happy about- obviously-, still I could totally understand her. I thought it was very brave of her to try the move on, even though it wasn't easy. She even started to date chief Swan for a little while, but felt like she should be alone for a while. I was proud of her.

'But what are you doing here, Leah? Shouldn't you be off with Christian somewhere?' My Mum had loved Christian form the start. It almost seemed like she liked him more than her own kids. She was always pushing me to do fun stuff with him and take him out on a date, even when we were living together.

I told her about the fight, but didn't give her much details, or she wouldn't stop nagging me about it. She let me go not long after that, understanding that I needed to blow off some steam while blowing up some people.

I made my way to the living room were Seth was laying on the couch, eyes closed and hands pretending to play Halo already. He was probably coming up with tactics to _try _to beat me.

An hour and a half later found us fighting, shooting and killing people. We were both jumping up and down, moving our fingers quickly over the controllers. If we weren't werewolves, in perfect form, we would have been sweating heavily. A smile almost broke through my concentrated face, this was actually pretty fun.

Seth fell down on the couch behind us, and threw a pillow over his face. 'Why? _Why_? **Why**?'

I laughed, he had lost, again. 'You know you can never beat me. I'm the master!' I fell down next to him. 'Let's get something to eat and drink.' Before I could finish Seth had thrown away the pillow and smiled broadly. 'Yes, cookies! Mum!' He ran to the kitchen, I followed in a more mature way.

In the kitchen we saw our mother just pulling out a whole bunch of hot cookies. My mouth started to water. 'Hello, darlings. How was your game?' She didn't even let us answer before continuing, 'I decided to make my own banana-carrot cookies, so you must judge if they are better than Katy Miller's.'

Seth and I almost attacked our mother to get a cookie quickly. The only sound that was heard for the next few minutes was us crunching on them, making approving noises to our mother. 'They are definitely better than Katy Miller's, Mum!' Seth exclaimed, bits of cookie flying out of his mouth. I nodded enthusiastically.

The rest of the day passed with more playing games on the playstation and eating our Mum's delicious food.

In the evening I went back to my own house. I stood before it for a few minutes. Normally there would be a light on, because Christian was often home before me. Now it was pitch dark. My chest hurt. I quickly walked to the door and entered. I almost ran to the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. I inhaled deeply, smelling Christian's smell. With a little smile on my face I fell asleep, praying everything would be allright soon.

* * *

_ Wow, I want to thank you all for your great reviews! When I read them I was grinning like an idiot. I was at school, so the teacher came over and asked if I was okay. Then I had to laugh harder :P So, you are great!_

_I hope you like this chapter and will review again. _

_Bye!_

_P.s. Has anybody seen the Twilight movie already? In Holland it will come out on December 4th, so I have to wait a little longer.. Can't wait, though!_


	3. Visiting the bloodsuckers

**Disclaimer. **I do not own the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does. I do however, own this story, so please do not copy.

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**Summary.** She is afraid to tell him she loves him, because she's scared he'll go away. But what if that's just the reason he would go?

**

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****03. Visiting the bloodsuckers**

It felt like Christian had been gone for weeks, months even. It only had been a week. One lousy week. One week of depression and -yes, it's hard to admit- tears. It sucked.

I hadn't heard from him again, and it drove me mad. What if he had fallen and broke his arm? What if he had chocked on his supper, what if his car had crashed? I almost made myself sick with worry.

Before I knew Christian, it would have been totally out of character for me to worry so much, but he had changed something in me. I wasn't the old bitter Leah any more – at least not on the inside or to my family, the pack hadn't really noticed a difference I think, I'm not a complete softie. No, something was different, I talked more with my mum, with Seth, and could also talk with Christian. Of course, it wasn't always easy, but it was good. I was happy. With him.

So bottom line is, these last few days had been hell. I spent most of the time in bed, trying to sleep. Which didn't really happen, of course.

My mother had called everyday. She said something in her gut had told her I wasn't feeling well. Isn't it weird how mothers can sense these sorts of things? I think it is. Even when I smiled my brightest, most happy _looking _smile, if there was something wrong, she would notice. It's creepy sometimes, but nobody can deny it feels good once in awhile.

Seth had visited me a lot too. Usually he would just sit next to me on the bed, telling unimportant stories. Gossip he had heard from Mum (sometimes he just acts like an old lady), or things about the pack. I would tune him out most of the time, but his presence was comforting.

I think my family had a déjà vu. I also had been acting like this when Sam broke up with me. I was hiding it from my parents- now only my mother- and lay in bed as long as possible, while staring up the ceiling with blank eyes.

But, while then it felt like someone stabbed an hole in my heart, now it felt like someone ripped it out, threw it on the ground, jumped up and down on it, then put it back and poured salt on the open wound. It didn't feel all that great.

Nothing that was said or done to help me get back to normal worked. Sometimes I would even get mad at myself, because I wasn't even sure Christian and I had really broken up, but then, about a minute after, I would feel new tears prickling in my eyes.

* * *

About one week after the fight, Seth visited again. This time he wasn't there to comfort me, he came to drag me out of bed.

'Leah, it's time to get out of bed. It's not healthy what you're doing.' I had heard my brother talk, but I wasn't paying attention to him.

'Leah! Don't act like a child!' I flinched when I heard the anger in his voice. I still didn't acknowledge him.

I felt, rather then saw him, tremble, and for a few seconds I was scared he would shift. He didn't. What he did do, was grabbing me roughly around the waist, slinging me over his shoulder and carrying me out of the room, in the direction of the bathroom. I screamed as hard as I could, and punched him on his back. He only put me down when we were in the bathroom, standing before the shower.

'I'm sorry, Leah, this is the only solution.' He set me down, in the shower, and turned on the water. Cold water. I started screaming again, trying to get him to budge, for him to let me get out of here. He just held my wrists and held me tight. After a few minutes I was soaked through, and so was he.

He helped me out of the shower. As soon as I was standing on the ground, I tried to get loose. He just lifted me again to bring me to the bedroom.

'Go get dressed.' He said curtly, before closing the door with a slam.

I sat down on the bed, breathing loudly. Well, that was totally unfair, stupid, annoying, uncalled for and embarrassing. I stayed seated on the bed for five minutes, then walked to the closet and started dressing.

* * *

'Where are we going?' Seth closed the door behind us. He was still wearing his wet clothes, but didn't seem to care much about it. Whatever.

'You'll see.' The last time I had seen Seth this irritated was... hmm, I don't think he ever had been like this. Oops. Not that I cared, pff...

We walked in the direction of the beach, to the busiest street of La Push. Well, it wasn't _busy_, but there could be a lot of people. I thought Seth was trying to get back for the wet clothes, otherwise we would have just taken the car, or would have ran. No, he just wanted to show everybody how miserable I looked, how miserable I was. Jerk.

We reached the main street, and I saw a few members of the pack. Suddenly I felt like I couldn't breathe, and I grabbed Seth's arm, while bringing us to an abrupt halt. I felt like a little girl on her first day of school, shy, embarrassed and **stupid**.

'It's okay, Leah,' was the only thing he said, before starting to walk again.

I tried to stop him, but he was too strong. I started walking too, still clutching his arm. We passed Colin, he looked sympathetic in my direction and nodded to Seth. I almost growled at him, I didn't want his pity. His sensed my irritation and quickly walked away. I followed him with a glare for a little while, what an ass. Seth lay an reassuring hand on my arm, but I shook him off. It was his fault.

Not long after we saw Colin, we bumped into Quil. 'Hey, Leah, how are you feeling?' This time I did growl. 'I wonder how you will be feeling after I kick you in your balls.' His face turned white, and he too walked away quickly.

Seth understood it wasn't save to let me talk to people again, and steered me in to the direction of his and mum's house.

'Wait here,' he said, before running inside the house and returning with car keys in his hand. 'Get in the car.' I stiffly stepped in to the car and looked away from Seth, out of the car window.

'We're going to the Cullens. Maybe that will cheer you up a bit.' I snorted at that. Right, as if a bunch of leeches could make me smile. It was such a ridiculous idea, that it was hard to hold back a grin.

'If you really believe that, you might have been dropped too much on your head as a kid.' Seth only chuckled softly, before starting the car.

About three years ago the pack had been through a rough patch. Alright, it had been more than a rough patch. Jacob Black had been in love with a girl, a leech-lover, for a while, and he couldn't let go of her. Even when she married him and turned out to be pregnant of her leech(I know right, nobody would've expected _that_), he didn't want to let us kill her or the kid.

Sam did want to kill her, because this pregnancy was practically against the treaty (which was signed about seventy years ago between the bloodsuckers and our grandparents, or something), so Jacob decided to start his own pack. Seth and I- Seth because he had started to like the leeches, I because I wanted to get rid of Sam- joined him.

After the whole thing blew over (as much as was possible), we joined Sam's pack again (I would have preferred if we hadn't, Sam was still an ass). Jacob and Sam had a big manly talk- which involved a lot of growling and threatening, and eventually they made up. It was kind of strange, because suddenly it felt like there were two Alphas. Because Sam was the first wolf to shift, he became the Alpha, but Jacob was the descendant of a line of Alphas, so it was in his blood to be the Alpha.

In the end it was actually better for Seth and me to join Sam again, because Jacob had imprinted on the vampire-child. He would leave La Push in a few years, to stay with her, and then Seth and I wouldn't have had an Alpha any more. Even though most wolves were too temperamental to deal well with authority, we couldn't live without an Alpha.

The only downside was that Seth and Jacob were promoting vampire/werewolf-friendships. This meant when we weren't patrolling, a few of us must stay with them in their house. It was a natural reaction for vampires and werewolves to dislike each other- we even smelled really bad to each other. Although I would never admit this out loud, they weren't as bad as I had always thought, but still...

I sighed, not only did they smell, one of them also had the annoying _gift_ to hear thoughts. He would hear all the embarrassing and depressing things I would think today. As much as Seth tried to help, it was still hard to keep those away. I just hoped Edward, the vampire with the _ability_, wouldn't ask me about it in public. I would gladly die then.

I looked out of the window, recognising the lawn which led to the Cullen house. Normally I arrived after I had patrolled. I suddenly felt the urge to run again, to feel the wind blowing against my face, feet thumping on the ground. The only thing that stopped me was the whole werewolf thing. I never felt like I didn't want to shift, but now I did. Strange.

Seth parked the car in front of the house and we both got out of the car. I took a few deep breaths, something I couldn't do any more when I was in the house and began walking to the front door.

'Leah, I know you don't want to be here, but Sam... I needed to patrol, and I didn't want to leave you...' Seth had stopped walking, so I turned around to look at him.

'Who will be here, beside the leeches?' I asked. Great, I just wanted to go to bed again.

'Embry and Quil'- oops, the one I just threatened to kick in his balls- ' and maybe... Sam.' I closed my eyes for a moment, and then started to walk to the house again.

The door was open like always and we walked in. The house I lived in wasn't small, but every time I stepped into this house, I was a little awed. It was wide and open, and looked like the perfect house. I felt my eyes start to water again, it would be the perfect house for Chris and me to grow old in.

I grabbed Seth's arm again and said, 'Seth, slap me.'

His eyes grew wide with shock when he looked at me, but when he saw the tears in my eyes, his eyes softened. '

Leah, it isn't wrong to cry.'

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. It didn't feel the urge to cry any more, just the urge to slap Seth, hard. I quickly walked around Seth, to the living room, knowing that if I stood there any longer, I _would_ punch Seth. I'm a very aggressive person, certainly since the last few days.

When I entered the room it was hard to hold back a groan. I had hoped- _prayed_- that Sam wouldn't be here, but naturally he was. He had got a bit over his _dislike_ for vampires, still, he would rather be somewhere else, just like almost every wolf. It was because Jacob's Alpha-hormones, or however they call it, emerged, he started to order us around too, and thus made us mingle with the leeches.

The moment I walked into the room, all the heads turned in my direction. I saw the big, muscled body of Emmett, who despite his hugeness, still acted like a little kid, and the beautiful Rosalie, his mate, sitting on the couch near the stairs, watching some sort of sports game. Sam, Quil and Embry were sitting on the same couch, although there was a big gap between the wolves and vampires.

Small Alice, who could see visions of the future, except from the future of the wolves, and her mate Jasper, who could influence emotions, were seated on a love seat, she on his lap.

On the piano bench I saw Edward, the mind-reader, with his mate Bella and their demon child. Whoops, when I thought that, he sent a glare in my direction. I just thought the girl was scary, she was around three years old, but looked ten years old. Everybody would find that weird.

Everybody must have heard Seth and I arrive, werewolves and vampires both have excellent hearing, but they must have also heard our conversation. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. Well, there's a first time for everything.

'Hello, miss Wolf!' Emmett loved to talk to me, just because he knew how annoying I thought he was.

'Hi,' I said back stiffly. I was afraid to look into the direction of Edward, Sam, Quil or Embry, not wanting to see their looks of pity.

I sat down on one of the big couches, as far as possible from the bloodsuckers. Their smell wasn't as bad as usual, but I didn't want to be too close anyway. Naturally this didn't bother Emmett, and he jumped on the couch next to me. The couch groaned in protest.

'Well, aren't we happy today. Bad case of PMS?'

He knew that was a sensitive point, and wasn't disappointed when I growled at him. Yes, even in human form we had wolf like tendencies.

'Maybe you should just shut up, leech.' I didn't feel like listening to him anymore and turned my back at him.

I heard his mate, Rosalie, hiss something to him. It was funny how a big guy like him could be henpecked by his wife.

'Okay, okay. I'm sorry, miss Wolf.' He did sound sincere, but that was probably because otherwise he wouldn't get any tonight. On the other side of the room, Edward muffled his laugh. Right, mind-reader in the house.

I shrugged, but stiffened when I heard his next words. 'You know, not to be unkind or anything, but you smell weird... like Renesmee.'

Okay, I didn't want to be compared to that demon child. I jumped up from the couch in anger at the same time as Edward yelled, 'Stop calling her a... you know!'

I didn't care, I was seething. 'Seth we're leaving!'

Before anyone knew what happened, I pulled Seth from the couch- he had entered the living room shortly after I had, and had began watching the sports game- and almost ran to the door.

'Bye! And sorry, Sam,' Seth called.

The only thing on my mind was trying to get out of this damn house as soon as possible, before I killed someone, preferably Emmett. Alright, not kill him, that was a bit difficult, seeing that he was already dead, but maybe rip him apart and set him on fire. Yes, that sounded like a great idea.

It didn't take long before we were on our way home. I tried to watch the trees, the forest always calmed me down, but they were blurry because we were driving fast. The anger slowly began seeping away, and my mind could only think of one thing.

'Do I really smell weird?'

* * *

**First of all I hope you all had a nice Christmas. I just spent it with my family, not doing much. It was nice.  
****  
****I'm sorry it took a while for me to update, but I had a little writers block and I was busy watching the House DVDs I got for Sinterklaas (a Dutch holiday). I'm not really happy with this chapter, it's a lot of description about the pack and stuff, a bit boring. **

**I saw that a lot of people visited the story, but didn't review. I would really appreciate it if you review, even if it isn't positive, it will only help me to write better! Naturally I want to thank the people who did review, I hope you got my reply. **

**So, I wish you all a very Happy New Year, and a see you in 2009!**

**Bye! **

**P.s. I'm going to post an "Host" one-shot, I hope you will read it. It will be online somewhere this week (I hope). **


	4. Houston, we've got a problem!

**Summary.** She is afraid to tell him she loves him, because she's scared he'll go away. But what if that's just he reason he would go?

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**04. **Houston, we've got a problem!

After the whole fiasco at the Cullen house, I decided not to visit them for the next few... centuries? I'd had enough. I was tired of those "funny" jokes Emmet made, the weird facial expressions on Jasper's face, who was always looking like he was in pain, Alice's bounciness and that demon child. Every time I thought about her- it? - I shuddered.

So I spent most of my time at my mother's house. I helped her bake- 'Leah, how hard is it to keep everything _in_ the bowl, instead of on the floor?'- and played games with Seth- 'I won! Again! You suuuuck!' Okay, so maybe it didn't all go as planned, seeing as I was still feeling blue, but it was quite a nice change.

I was glad my family was there to make me feel better. I never told my mother in actual words how glad I was they were there for me, but she knew when I hugged her extra tight when I left in the evening or greeted her with a kiss on the cheek in the morning.

The only thing that didn't feel right was when I was thinking about the pack. I had always loved being a werewolf- right, sorry Sam, shape shifter- yet thinking about it now, made my stomach churn.

However, I decided to get over it, because Sam had carefully implied I needed to patrol again. I hadn't shifted or patrolled for almost a month and Sam really needed more people to help. Most of the pack had their own families (some even with someone who wasn't their imprint, which really pissed me off. I knew how it felt when the man you loved left you for someone else, even if it was their _true _love) and they wanted to spend more time with them. And although I never really cared about how the others felt, I also knew that it was hard to divide your attention to your family (or (ex-?) boyfriend) and the pack. They were both a big part of you, choosing was impossible.

So on this fine day I was standing in my mom's backyard, slowly breathing in the fresh forest air. The thing I liked about La Push was that wherever you where, even in your own garden, you were surrounded by trees. You never had to be scared that someone was trying to sneak a peek while you were sunbathing or something. And it also came handy when I was trying to shift again.

While pulling my shirt off, I walked to the first few trees. I wasn't crazy enough to stand naked in front of the windows, you never know if there is a sudden visitor. When my clothes were neatly folded, I firmly planted my feet on the ground, concentrated and tried to shift. Nothing happened.

I tried again, this time closing my eyes. The familiar feeling of the shift didn't come over me. I still felt nothing, no tingling limbs, stretching muscles, groaning bones, nothing. Opening my eyes, I blinked and felt stunned. I knew that werewolves could turn back human if they didn't change for awhile, but I only didn't change for a few weeks!

Slowly I put my clothes back on. This was weird. Should I talk with Sam about it? Or maybe Jacob. I decided not to. This could just be a fluke. I was going to try again tomorrow and I might succeed then.

* * *

The next day I was standing between the first trees at my mom's backyard again. My clothes were lying on a pile a few feet away from me; my back was turned into the direction of the house. I hadn't told anyone about what happened yesterday, although I do think Seth might have noticed me coming back feeling weird.

Closing my eyes, I visioned myself turning into my light grey wolf form. I tried to take hold of the magical feeling I always sensed while turning. In my mind I was running on all fours again, feeling the wind blow through my fur.

When I opened my eyes I was still standing in my human form between the tall trees.

Now I felt like crying. What was wrong with me? Could something be blocking my ability to shift? Even though I still didn't feel like I wanted to turn into a wolf, if was also a part of me. Being a werewolf was part of who I was. Why didn't it work?

Maybe now was the time to talk to Sam. I prayed he knew what to do, 'cause I felt useless. What was the point for me to be living anymore? I couldn't give Christian- or maybe some other man, seeing that he and I were kind of broken up- children and I couldn't even protect my tribe. What was the point?

I quickly dressed and then fell down on the soft forest floor. I lay on my back, the dark green moss giving me a soft place to relax for a bit. I could see the blue sky- it might be the first beautiful sunny day in La Push for the year or something- above the high trees. Never did I feel as protected as when I was in the forest. When I was younger, my family and I sometimes visited a city like Seattle or once even New York during the summer holidays, but I was always happy to get back to La Push, nothing could beat that. In the city you were surrounded with tall buildings and people who only minded their own business, it was so impersonal. Yes, I didn't care for all the gossiping ladies from La Push, but there was a kind of safety in knowing that you would never be left alone.

My thoughts took over and I didn't notice anything else anymore. I didn't see the trees or felt the ground I was laying one, didn't even hear the birds sing and before I knew it I heard my name being called. 'Leah? Are you still outside? It has been more than two hours.'

Two hours? It felt like only two minutes! 'I'm here, Seth,' I called back. I almost felt him raise his eyebrow when he saw me lying on the floor but then he dropped on the ground next to me and lay down too.

'What are you doing?' He shifted so that his arms were behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles. It was the typical way for guys to look cool while lying on the ground. _Whatever_.

I wasn't sure if I should tell him about my shifting problem, afraid he was immediately going to call Sam or tell my mother who would only stress about it.

'I..' Should I tell him? 'I was just..' Maybe he could help. 'I can't-,' But it might work tomorrow, you never know with mythical creatures. 'And then..' He was my brother, I could trust him. 'I cannot-,' I should, right? 'I was just tired.' Okay, guess that was a definite no to telling Seth.

He turned his head to me and I felt his curious eyes burning a hole in the side of my head, I refused to look at him.

'You sure?' I heard the doubt in his voice. Nodding was the only thing I could do, I was afraid my voice would waver and betray me.

We lay together for quite a while and there was one question spinning in my head. Since when was Seth so grown up? Was it when he first shifted? When he had to help me after Sam? After Chris? I felt the urge to hug him and impulsively I did.

He was stunned for a few seconds before he wrapped his large arms around me. 'You are weird,' I mumbled in his chest. He chuckled and my head bumped up and down because his chest did so too. 'I think _you_ are weird. But, who cares? Maybe it's in the genes.'

* * *

That afternoon I was home again. My family really did make me feel better and I was now able to be at home without crying. That had taken quite a few days and a lot of tears. Whatever. I had the right to feel like this, don't you think so? Being dumped by your imprint isn't all that great.

The phone rang and I jumped up, well, I wasn't expecting _that_ to happen. Nobody ever called me. Unless-?

'This is Leah.' I sounded hopeful and almost slapped myself.

For two seconds there was silence, then a voice said, 'Leah? It's Christian.'

My heart skipped a beat and I couldn't come up with anything else than, 'Hi.' Wow, never knew I could sound so **stupid**.

'I'm really sorry I just ran away.' His voice sounded so normal, yet there was also a hint of sadness. 'I was hoping that you'd want to talk to me. I still love you and I don't want us to break up.' He paused. I stayed silent. 'But I also want to change some things.'

I still couldn't find my voice. 'Leah? Are you still there?' I was glad to hear _his_ desperation; it was a bit of a relief.

'Yes, I'm still there,' I croaked. 'I would like to talk. When are you coming back?'

I could almost hear his relief and happiness. 'I think I will be back the day after tomorrow, around noon. Is that okay?'

I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. 'Yes.' Why was it so hard to talk to him? We'd never had that problem.

'Alright. I-,' he hesitated, 'bye.' The soft beeping noise coming from the phone told me he had hung up. It was hard to hold back my tears, but somehow I managed. He would come back. He would come back to me.

I thought cooking might be a good distraction- I didn't want to start crying, because once I started, there was no way to stop- so I took some supplies out of the supply closet to make a nice meal and started to prepare the food. I had decided to make lemon chicken, one of my all time favorites. My mother had once given me the recipe, and it was one of the few things I could make without burning the house down.

One and a half hour later I was vomiting in the bathroom. Since when did that dish smell so bad? I couldn't imagine I had ever eaten that. It was disgusting! I wiped my mouth with the towel hanging on the hook next to the sink and sat down against the shower stall. How could this happen? I was never sick, hadn't puked in more than five years or so, but suddenly I was feeling nauseous all the time.

My face paled when I could only come up with one explanation, even though it didn't make sense at all. I had to go to the pharmacist. Because there was a good chance that I- that I was...

O my god. I was pregnant.

* * *

**Hello again!  
First I want to thank you all for reviewing! I hope everyone received a reply, if not, I'm terribly sorry and also very thankful!  
I'm quite busy with school and stuff, so I won't be able to update very often. That's also the reason why this chapter isn't very long.  
So, although a lot of you reviewed, many people just visited the story, but didn't comment on it. I would love it if more people would give me feedback, because then I will be able to make my story better.  
Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I will see you next time!  
Byeee! Jetske**


	5. To be or not to be pregnant

**Disclaimer.** I do not own anything you recognise from the Twilight series!

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**Summary.** She is afraid to tell him she loves him, because she's scared he'll go away. But what if that's just the reason he would go?

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**05. **To be or not to be pregnant

Never in my whole life had I ever expected this. This was something that couldn't happen, not now, not ever. I had given up on having children and was kind of okay about it. Something deep inside me hoped it was true, another part just hoped that fate wasn't playing a cruel game with me.

Trying to stop getting my hopes up, I stood up from my place on the bathroom floor and decided to make sure what was going on. If I turned out to be pregnant, that would be okay, and if not- well, that would seriously suck but it wouldn't hurt so much if I wasn't thinking I already was.

Er.. Okay, that just didn't make sense, but whatever. I had more important things to deal with right now.

It wasn't wise to go to the little supermarket in La Push- I didn't want too many people to know- so going to Port Angeles (in Forks I wasn't safe either) was my only option. I wasn't looking forward to a one and a half hour drive, but I didn't want all La Push (or Forks) to know I _might_ be pregnant.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed my car keys from the hook. Christian had taken his own car when he left and I was glad I still had mine. We had discussed if we should sell one car, because normally we walked or drove together and a car costs money.

I wrapped my coat tighter around me when I was greeted with rain as soon as I stepped out of the house. Why was it raining again? The weather had been quite nice the last few days, but one way or another it always ended up raining around here. That really sucked.

After I got into the car, I put my hands on the steering wheel and slowly exhaled. I _was_ getting my hopes up. I felt a little thrill of excitement well up inside of me and I was thinking _what if..?_ the whole time. Clearing my head my harder than it normally was.

Bringing my hand to the radio, I switched it on and decided to focus on that (and on the road, naturally). I drove to the main road and then turned to the 101. It was indeed easier not to think about a possible baby with the music on, and I was singing happily along with the songs I knew.

Before I knew it, I was in Port Angeles and I stopped the car. Now I just had to find a supermarket or pharmacy. Driving to the centre of Port Angeles, where all the shops were, was my best hope to finding one, so I started the car again and drove off. After five minutes I spotted a pharmacy and I parked in front of it.

I didn't want to be too obvious so I ducked my head a bit and stepped into the store. The bell above the door made a loud sound and I jumped. Great, now I just looked like a fool. The woman behind the counter smiled friendly at me, I tried to smile back, but the only thing I managed was some kind of grimace.

'Hello! Can I help you with something?' Shit, why did she have to talk to me? Couldn't she just mind her own business? Luckily for her, being with Christian had taught me some manners and I only snapped at her in my mind.

Wait- Did I just sounded schizophrenic?

Well, if so, that wasn't my priority right now. I was a woman on a mission!

'No, thank you. I will look around by myself.' This time I did smile at her. Wow, sometimes I could be so proud of myself.

Okay, it's final, I'm a psycho, yet, that didn't matter right now! God, how hard was it to focus?

I shook my head to clear it a bit, then walked further in to the store. While trying to look as unsuspicious as possible, I tried to locate the right aisle. Got it! The pregnancy tests were hidden in a tiny corner, next to a big rack of magazines. I slowly strutted past the magazines, grabbed some, and then managed to grab two boxes with pregnancy tests too.

Then I strolled towards the counter and placed the stuff before the still smiling woman. After she scanned the items, she looked at me with an understanding expression on her face.

'I hope you will get the answer you want, sweetie,' she said and put the things into a paper bag. This time I fully smiled at her and walked to the door.

I turned around and said to her, 'I'm actually not really sure which answer I want.' Wow, I had never opened up to a stranger like that.

'You do know, I can tell.' I didn't know what to say back at her, so I just stepped out of the door and didn't look back.

When I was sitting in the car again, a relieved smile popped onto my face. Mission accomplished.

* * *

Seeing that I had hung out in the bathroom a lot during the last few weeks, I had placed the old radio from the kitchen and a few books onto the shelf next to the shower. When I stepped into the room, I immediately turned the radio on to calm my nerves down a bit.

_Urinate onto the white stick, then wait five minutes. If a pink cross appears on the screen, you are pregnant. When a black line appears, you are not pregnant. _

_This test is very accurate, it will only be positive if you are really pregnant. It could be that it will be negative even when you are pregnant, this could mean that you have not been pregnant for long. To be sure, go see you doctor. _

I took a deep breath and went over to the toilet. After I had wet the stick, I put it onto the counter next to the sink and set the time I had taken with me from the kitchen. This time the songs on the radio couldn't distract me, and my eyes kept wandering off to the test, lying on the counter.

My mind showed me visions of a little girl in pink summer dress dancing with Christian, of a boy looking like a mini, male version of me, sleeping on my lap, his thumb tucked in his mouth. My eyes watered at the thought that maybe that would never happen that it was just a dream, a silly one. Me and Christian had never really discussed if we wanted children, although I had seen him play with his little nieces and cousins. He'd always looked so relaxed and happy then; I couldn't imagine him never being a father.

Those five minutes seemed to last a few hours but finally the timer ringed. Butterflies were flying around like crazy in my stomach and I barely could hold back a wave of vomit. My hands shook when I took the test from its place.

A big pink cross stared back at me.

A string of curse words left my mouth before I dropped the test. Wow, even though I was prepared for this, it was still a big shock.

Wait, maybe the text on the box was wrong, maybe I wasn't pregnant at all; the test could be a fraud. Okay, I don't know if that was possible, but you never know. So I took the test again, and after five minutes I looked at the screen and saw the same pink cross.

Well shit!

Wait, wasn't I supposed to be happy? Again I took a deep breath (was I practising for when I gave birth already or something? If I continued like this, I would never have to follow one of those breathing classes) and walked to the living room to sit on one of the comfy couches.

Yes, I was happy. Maybe it hadn't come at a great time, but something happened to me, something I thought _couldn't_ happen to me. And it did. It happened. Shit, _it _happened! I threw my head back and laughed. I laughed like I'd never laughed before in my life. I had always felt really happy with Christian, but know I felt double as happy.

Fuck, now I just sounded retarded. And like a wuss. Still, the smile didn't remove itself from my face, it only became wider. I was going to have a baby. A tiny, little, cute, beautiful baby.

I had to tell someone! But who? Christian wouldn't come back until the day after tomorrow and I didn't want to tell him over the phone. No, I wanted to see his face, to see his happy smile, or maybe to see a forced one, that would tell me if he wasn't happy about it.

The only ones that were left that I wanted to tell were my mom and Seth, so I quickly ran to the door and started walking to their house. After I had driven in the car for over two hours, I wanted to feel the outside air and move my legs. Adrenaline was still flowing through my veins and I was almost jogging. Of only Chris had been here with me, I could have died happily.

Er- well, maybe not _died_ but you know what I mean.

It didn't take me long before I was standing in front of the house my mother and Seth occupied. Through the windows I could see Seth laying on the couch and my mom cleaning the kitchen, just like I expected.

I quickly ran to the house, not being able to hold back my happiness, and opened the door with a loud bang. I could hear Seth falling off the couch in shock and my mother stopping with cleaning the kitchen table.

'Mom! Mom! I need to tell you something!' Oops, maybe that sounded a bit weird and maybe it would make her think something bad happened, but I wasn't in a right state of mind to think about that.

'What's wrong, honey? What happened?' Okay, she was indeed worried something happened. Sorry...

I ran to the kitchen en hugged my mother tightly against me. 'I am-,' I suddenly felt nervous, 'I was...' What if she didn't approve? 'I have been feeling weird lately-,' She looked at me and I saw the worry in her eyes. 'It isn't something bad... I think.' Understanding suddenly flooded onto her face, but I saw she was afraid to really believe it. 'I'm pregnant.' So, there, I said.

For a second she couldn't say anything, but then she almost started screaming, it kind of hurt my ears. 'Oh my god! My little girl! She is pregnant! This is the happiest day of my life! I'm going to be a grandmother.' She hugged me even tighter than I had hugged her before but then pushed me back a bit.

'Have you taken the right vitamins yet? Maybe I should take you to the doctor right now. It is very important to stay healthy, for you and the baby.' When she said the word baby, tears started to pool in her eyes. 'My baby is having a baby.' And then she giggled.

Ever heard your mother giggle? I sure hope you haven't, because it was quite scary. Before my mother could hug me again, I was picked up from behind by two big, strong arms and was spun around. 'I'm going to be an uncle!'

Seth's happy laughter brought tears to my eyes and before I knew it I was bawling my eyes out. Everybody stood still for a moment, then Seth turned me around in his arms and held me tightly against him. I pressed my face into his warm chest and cried, not even exactly knowing why I felt so sad.

My mother drew circles on my back and made sussing sounds. 'Oh honey, I'm sure you don't even know why you're crying, am I right?' I nodded, still pressing my head into Seth's t-shirt. 'Pregnant women can have mood changes because of the hormones. It nothing weird if you feel really happy one moment, and really sad the next. I still remember when I was pregnant from you two; I think I drove your dad crazy!'

When she said that, I felt laughter bubble up in my chest and now _I _giggled. But when Seth said, 'Wow, Leah, you're kind of freaking me out,' I had to cry _again_. Ugh, I already hated this, and it had just begun!

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**Hey!  
Wow, I'm quite proud of myself that I updated so soon!  
I hope you all liked this chapter and please leave a review!  
Byee!  
(Oops, sorry for ll the exclamation marks (A))**


	6. My exboyfriend the ass, my mother

**Disclaimer.** I do not own anything you recognise from the Twilight series. The plot, though, is mine, so don't steal!

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**06. **My ex-boyfriend the ass, my mother the softy

So, it turned out I was a very dramatic pregnant lady. Everything my mother of brother said was completely taken out of context and exaggerated by me, which resulted in me crying, yelling or slapping someone most of the time. This might also explain my slight overreaction to the whole fight/break up-thing. I mean, Christian had never said he wanted to break up, just that he wanted to take a break, right? Oh no, here I go again...

Er... all right, sorry, had to take a quick cry-break. Sue me, I'm pregnant. It was somewhat annoying tough, I had never really been someone who cries a lot. It was a bit hard to get used to.

It felt like I had known I was pregnant for years or something- although that might have been a little difficult, but you get my drift- yet it only had been yesterday that I had taken the test, or rather, test**s**. Sometimes I still found myself in some state of shock, but most of the time I was staring off into space, thinking about the little baby that was growing in my belly.

You see, one minute I cried, then I was angry, and the next moment I was acting like a big softie. I really hoped these mood changes would lessen over time, because it was driving me crazy! Seth had told me he found me kind of scary, and I had to agree with him. It is no wonder less and less women got pregnant, this was a weird feeling.

Oh. My. God. Did I just almost say I didn't want to be pregnant? What kind of vile person was I? This was terrible, unbelievably terrible. Rage, that was the emotion I was feeling now, rage at myself.

_Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and focus on the matters that...matter?_ I said to myself (Isn't speaking to yourself some kind of signal that you are mentally unstable? Well, maybe that was already evident).

_Ahem._ Oh. Right.

Tomorrow Christian would come back and I wondered if he would be happy with this whole pregnancy thing. We had discussed having babies and starting a family, but only briefly. Somewhere deep inside of me I felt Christian would love me being pregnant, yet, I was a bit scared.

I also planned to tell him everything about the wolves, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed. For a werewolf it is quite hard to disobey the Alpha's orders, and Sam often had told me I should not tell Chris about the wolves. I wasn't sure why, seeing that most of the women the boys imprinted on, knew everything. Nevertheless, as the obedient little puppy I always was, I never really complained. All right, that's a slight exaggeration, Sam and I often fought about this, and I always had to let it go before one of us would shift in a fit of rage.

Today I had asked Sam to come to my house so we could talk about the matter. I wasn't going to tell him about the baby- he would probably already know, because my mom called half the reservation to tell everyone the good news-, I thought Christian should be the first to know, but I was going to ask him if I could tell Chris about the pack now.

I was nervous and had run to the bathroom to vomit many times. I guess the nerves triggered some hormones or something, 'cause all the pregnancy-things (i.e. vomiting, tiredness, you name it) felt worse than normal.

Trying to make myself less nervous, I donned Chris' big college sweater; his smell always comforted me and my short hair was tied up in a messy bun. My face was void of any make up, just as it was most of the time. My hands shook when I tried to make coffee and I had to drain the coffee through the sink, because the smell made me even more nauseous. Great. Fortunately, I had never been very keen on coffee, so that wasn't a big loss.

Someone knocked on the door and after closing my eyes for a second, I opened it. It was important not to get angry, that would only make Sam even more determined not to agree with me. The opened door revealed a blank looking Sam, dressed in sweats and a white t-shirt. When we dated, I had loved it when he had worn a white t-shirt, because it showed off his muscled body, after we broke up I hated every man that wore one. Naturally, when Chris wore one…pfew, none of us would be available for a few hours then.

Sam stepped into the house and I immediately felt some flare of his Alpha-power. I know, that sounds weird, it's just that there is a difference between normal, human-Sam and Alpha-Sam. I do not think normal people would notice, but as a werewolf, it was kind of hard to miss. His face was set into a blank expression, his body sending out waves of authority. He probably was preparing for a fight. Like I would ever start a fight on purpose.

Whoops, that snort wasn't very ladylike.

'Hi, Sam.' I smiled; he didn't even lift the corners of his mouth as a greeting.

'Hello Leah.' His voice sounded gruff. Al_right_...

I led him into the living room and told him to sit on one of the couches. Before I could ask him if he wanted something to drink, he said, 'Leah, I think I know what this is about, but I will tell that it will be hard for you to convince me. It might even be impossible.' Eh... wasn't the intention of a discussion/debate to start with a neutral stand?

'Sam, please! I imprinted on him, I need to tell him.' I know, it was a bit early to feel angry, but he was acting like a little kid. He'd always had some kind of problem with Chris; he probably did this just to spite him, and with that, me.

'You know we can't tell too much people. If more humans find out, they might expose us. I need to protect the pack!' He sounded quite aggravated. Great job, Leah, great job. Most of the time, Sam was reasonable, but not when we were talking about Christian. Jerk.

'Every other imprintee knows about us, why shouldn't he? We are going to spend our lives together; I can't live with such a big secret for all my life.' I started to sound desperate; this was going the wrong way.

'Your whole live? Doesn't seem like it to me, seeing that he's off somewhere and you're still here.' He stood up and towered over me, his face drawn back into a scowl. At first, his comment did not really reach my brains, then it did. It hurt. _And_ it triggered my anger.

'What is your problem? You have never liked him; always try to do things to make things hard for him, for us. It is my life, not yours!' Angry tears were welling up in my eyes and my breathing came laboured.

Sam looked at bit remorseful yet didn't shut his trap. 'I'm trying to look out for you. He might not like what you are; I don't want you to get hurt.'

Now I was unstoppable. The rage was burning in my veins and I almost saw red. I stood up and tried to look as intimidating as possible. 'You! You were the one that hurt me the most! Christian would never hurt me like you did. You screwed everything up, you screwed _me_ up.' I took a deep breath and sat down again, before continuing, not caring that I was kind of baring my soul to him, 'I had to watch you fall in love with my best friend, had to hear the thoughts you were thinking, the guilt you felt but also the love for Emily. It hurt. _You_ hurt me!'

I jumped up from the couch I was sitting on- how hard is it to just stand or sit, not change positions the whole time?- , but a sudden sharp pain in my lower stomach stopped my angry ranting. I tried to breathe through my nose and brought my hand to my belly, trying to protect it, not even knowing from what. Sam looked shocked, angry and concerned. Shocked and angry because of my angry outburst, concerned for the pain he knew I'd felt.

'Leah, are you okay? I heard about-,' I stopped him with a raised hand and said, 'You must go now. I don't feel well.'

I turned around, started to walk to the bedroom, not caring about our argument anymore and only heard the front door close when I was well and safe in bed.

I was pretty shaken by the pain I had felt, but my body told me I was all right. That is the wonder of the female body, it always told its owner about the conditions it was in. The baby was too small to kick or even move, so I hadn't felt it, yet I still knew how he (or she) was. This may also be a result of being a wolf for so many years; it had made me quite aware of the things I felt.

Today's events still had made me a bit tired, so I decided to go to bed early. I had to be fit the next morning, because Chris would come home tomorrow. I lay down on the bed and pulled the covers up to my face, while closing my eyes. It wasn't easy to fall asleep; on one hand, I was very nervous for the next day, on the other hand I was exited. I had missed him terribly and could not wait to see him again.

I decided I couldn't sleep before I was _really_ sure nothing was wrong, so I called my mother. I thought this pregnancy might make our bond tighter, and I quite liked it. She was one of only ones I felt comfortable discussing things like this with and she had been pregnant two times, so she must know quite a bit about these kinds of things.

I dialed her number and it did not take long before someone picked up. 'This is Seth,' I heard my brother say in his low voice. The tears welling up in my eyes made my vision blur. If I was going to cry every time I talked to my brother, I could better kill myself.

'Can I talk to mom?' He obviously heard my voice waver a bit, but didn't comment on it. He really was a good brother.

'Su- what was that?' I had slapped myself for being a big sap and he clearly heard.

'Nothing. Put mom on the phone, please.' He sighed deeply and I could hear some shuffling on the other line, before my mother answered the phone.

'Hi Sweetie, is there something wrong?' she sounded happy to hear me, yet also a bit concerned.

I told her what happened today- well, just that Sam and I had a fight and the pain I had felt- and she assured me it would probably be nothing, especially since the pain had vanished since then.

'Sometimes pregnant woman feel some stomach-aches, most of the time it's nothing serious. The uterus is busy expanding, to make place for the baby, that can hurt a little. But, maybe it would be a good idea to visit a doctor in a few days, just to be sure.' My heart had beaten a bit faster than normal when I had first asked her if this could mean something bad, and now it was slowing down, luckily.

'Do you- do you want to go with me to the doctor?' The question just slipped out, but I didn't even want to take it back, it would be really nice if she wanted to accompany me to the doctor, safer in a way.

For a few seconds there was silence, and then I heard her sniffle. 'Oh Leah, you have no idea how happy you make me. Not only by giving me a grandchild, but also by being the best daughter any mother could ask for.'

Okay... I knew I could be fairly dramatic sometimes, but this was even worse. I managed to calm her down a bit and after we said goodbye and had both put down our phones, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**

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**

Hello to all the lovely readers of this story!  
I want to thank everyone that had reviewed or put me on their alert or favorites list. It really means a lot to me!  
I have replied every reviewer, if you didn't receive one:  
I'm sorry, sometimes I'm being stupid and I accidentally delete them from my inbox and I forget about them... Sorry!  
So, I hope I haven't let you all wait too long.  
Oh! I changed the summary, because I felt the old one didn't really describe what the story actually was about  
(it does play a part, but it turned that it wasn't the main focus of the story. That's what  
you get when I haven't finished writing the whole story, and I just write a chapter at a time).  
I hope it doesn't confuse anyone, it will still be the same story.  
Well, I think that was all I wanted to say.

**So, thank you very much, and keep reviewing!  
Byeee!**

_**A/N September 3rd: I changed a few little things in this chapter I wasn't happy about. But nothing too serious. **_


	7. The return of the boyfriend

**Disclaimer.** I do not own anything you recognise from the Twilight series. The plot, though, is mine, so don't steal!

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**07. **The return of the boyfriend

When I woke up the next morning, I felt my stomach churn and I had to make a mad dash for the bathroom.

I just barely made it.

I was still wearing Chris' sweater, not having changed into my pyjamas before going to bed. It kind of made me feel better, with more confidence, and after I had cleaned myself up a bit, I walked to the kitchen to make some breakfast.

Banana pancakes had always been one of my favourites, so I decided to make that. When standing in the kitchen and cooking, it sometimes felt like I was some kind of a housewife. That idea had never particularly appealed to me, until I had found Christian; then I suddenly had the urge to settle down. Well, when I thought about it; him, coming home from work, me, having prepared dinner, us, on the couch, wrapped up in each other's arms. No, that didn't sound all that bad, actually.

Wow, four years ago I would never have thought I would even have thoughts like these, let alone almost living like it. I mean, most of the times I _was _at home when he came back from work, and while he did some of the chores, they were mostly my job. Although it sounded a bit like we had boring lives, living like a married couple, it was pretty nice too.

Before my mind could take me to a complete different place, I decided to focus on the cooking and shoved those mushy thoughts away. It didn't take me long to finish the pancakes, they smelled delicious. Seth (and the rest of the pack) must have rubbed off on me, because I couldn't stop myself _inhaling_ the stuff.

Breakfast hadn't really held my attention for that long and I didn't want to think about Christian's return for the whole morning; so I had to find some way to distract myself. When I looked in the mirror, I soon found a way to do that. He couldn't come back to some sleazy version of me; I had to beautify myself.

Stop!

…

Is it just me, or did that sound a bit scary?

After I had gotten over that scary episode, I went to the bathroom to do something else then vomiting. Wow, that was a nice change. I showered and put on some makeup, after brushing my hair and shaved my legs. The next time I looked into the mirror, I was happi_er_ to see myself.

My dark hair hung loose around my face- I couldn't let it grow overly long, because then my fur as a wolf would be long too. Luckily, my human hair and wolf fur did not depend on each other as much as with the boys. They had to wear their hair _really_ short in order to have normal length fur-, my face looked better with the help of the makeup I had put on. I'd never been a girly girl, who wears make up and tight clothes, but I wanted to look good for Christian. I hoped none of the pack would stop by; they would just laugh at me. My clothes were nothing fancy, just a shirt and black pants, but it was still better than how I had looked the last few days, when I had wore sweats and a big sweater of Christian most of the time.

The clock sitting on the cabinet in the living room told me it was only ten o'clock in the morning, too early for Chris to arrive. What was I going to do now? I would drive myself crazy if I would just sit on the couch and did nothing for the rest of the time.

So I cleaned. I tidied the whole house, making sure every room looked like it belonged in some kind of home magazine. The windows had never sparkled like this before, there was not a speck of dust on the cabinets and all the beds (well, _all_, the only beds we had was our bed and the one in the guestroom) were made. Even after all this, it was only half past eleven.

Is that clock even working?

Okay, it worked (And yes, I checked. Who cares?).

Well, we all know the saying; _a man's love goes through his stomach._ Lunch it was then. I made my way to the kitchen and tried to think about what I was going to make. It had to be something special, yet also something that wouldn't make me nauseous. Lemon chicken was a definite no, something too spicy would also be a bad idea, what was left? Steak? Maybe not that romantic, but I guess everything was better than me hanging over the toilet for the rest of the day. Luckily Chris was a huge fan of my steak and I happily began preparing it.

It took me over an hour to finish the whole meal and I was kind of proud of myself. The steak was prepared perfectly, the vegetables looked crispy and the potatoes were baked a golden brown. Hopefully Chris would arrive soon, so that it wouldn't get cold and limp. I put some cover over the food and then sat down on the couch.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited even longer.

Then a knock on the door.

Again I looked at the clock (I had to restrain myself not to run to the door and to just jump the poor guy) and saw only ten minutes had passed. That was weird.

Slowly I trotted to the door and opened it. It all seemed to happen in slow motion, like a dream. I had waited for this moment to come for a few days, but now I dreaded it. I mentally slapped myself and told myself to grow up; I was an adult now, this shouldn't be hard.

Christian looked exactly the same like the last time I'd seen him. Soft black hair, curling where it touched the collar of his shirt, his eyes watching everything around him with a bit of curiosity, white teeth softly biting on his lower lip. Oh yes, he looked the same, as perfect as always.

'Hi,' I said, not knowing if he wanted a hug, a kiss, maybe a handshake? He put his hands in his pockets, shifting on his feet uncomfortably. 'Hey.'

Almost as if he didn't know his own house, I led him to the kitchen, were the food was waiting for us. 'I made some lunch, I thought you might be hungry.' I gestured to the food and I saw him give a little smile. That was a good sign, right?

We both sat down and began eating in silence. Every few seconds I would glance at him, while quickly averting my eyes when he looked up into my direction. This whole ordeal felt like a bad date in eleventh grade.

That rhymes! Wow, did you know I was such a genius that I just rhyme while not even noticing it?

....

Alright, sorry. Back to the main point.

'Do you like the steak?' I asked Christian, not wanting to eat in silence anymore, it was kind of uncomfortable. Also, if we talked about other things, I wouldn't just blurt out that I was pregnant. He may not take it so well if he would find out that way.

'Yes, it's perfect.' He took a few more bites, before pushing his plate away. 'Leah, I think we need to talk, now.'

I nodded, not being able to say anything because the fear closed like a hand around my throat. _He won't leave me, he won't leave me_, I chanted in my head. It was important that I would keep saying that to myself, in order to not to breakdown right here, in front of him.

While I cleared to table, I saw him nervously pacing in the living room. For a second I watched him, feeling a little bit of happiness in my chest, because he was back, then I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts and joined him in the spacious room. Sitting down at the couch, I watched him pace for a bit, not wanting to interrupt his obvious thinking. Should I tell him about the baby right now? No, maybe it would be better if I did that when everything between us was right again, otherwise he might just feel obligated to stay.

'The reason that I left, was because all your secrets make me a bit angry. No, not exactly angry, it's more a combination of insecurity and- and... frustration. It makes me think about whether you want to be with Sam instead of me, or that you maybe don't trust me enough to tell me.'

At first I was startled when he suddenly started to talk, then I wanted to interrupt him, to tell him all those thoughts weren't true, but he held up his hand as a sign that he wasn't finished yet.

'The reason I came back, is because I love you. I can't stand to be for away from you, it's like something's always pulling me to you.' The words he said, touched my heart. Never ever had someone told me things like this before. And I definitely understood "the pull" he was talking about. 'I need you, but we can't go on like this.'

It was easier to talk, now that I knew we would probably not break up. I also knew that the secret was in our way, however I couldn't ignore Sam's order. 'First of all, I want you to know that I would never even _think_ of going back to Sam. Even if I wasn't with you, I wouldn't do that. And I _do_ trust you, I would trust you with my life. It isn't my decision that I can't tell you.'

Sighing, he started pacing again- he had stopped when he had began talking, to stand in front of me-, his hands raked through his hair like crazy. 'I don't understand. Who could possibly tell you what to do? You never listen to anybody when they order you around. I know you.'

'It's not really an order-,' Yes it is. 'it's just.. It's not only my secret, more people are involved.' I began to start getting frustrated, not at Christian, or even at myself, but at Sam. Ugh, I wish I could just tell Christian everything, so we could start our little family right away.

'It's not something illegal, right?'

'No.' Only if you call changing into a giant monster illegal.

'Or dangerous.'

'Nope.' Well, of course it was, but not in the way he meant.

I saw the conflict going on in his head, nearly written on his face. As he had said before, he knew me, if I didn't want to say anything, you could almost torture me and I wouldn't give in. Nevertheless, knowing that I had this big of a secret, which may even be something dangerous, he couldn't just let that go.

'I don't know anymore, Leah. I really don't.' He sounded defeated and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and never let go. 'You _do_ want to get together, right?' He suddenly said, almost gasping for air when the realisation hit him. 'I mean, you were the one who said you wanted to end it and maybe- 'Cause if you don't, I can just go away and, you know, leave you alone. It would kill me, but-,'

I did not let him finish his crazy rambling; standing up, I walked towards him and shut him up with my mouth. The first second he felt my lips touch his, he stood perfectly still, not expecting this. Then he let go of all the frustration and anger and responded with a kiss so passionate, it almost brought tears to my eyes.

'Please don't go away, stay.' And so we stood there, kissing in the living room like nothing else mattered, and for a few moments, nothing else did.

* * *

A few hours later we were sitting on the couch, just holding each other tight. I hadn't told him about my pregnancy yet and his frustration about my secret was also still there.

'Chris?' I said, while lifting my head from his chest. 'About, you know, the secret.' I wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but didn't know where to start. 'I will try really hard to find a way to tell you. Also, the next few months, you won't notice much about it.' That was true, I couldn't shift with the baby, so I wouldn't have to go patrol every other day anymore.

'Why's that?' He asked. I could tell by hearing his voice that he had almost fallen asleep, half lying down, sprawled out on the couch, being content with me in his arms. When I started to talk, however , he had stiffened a bit.

'Um.' Shit, now I _had_ to tell him. What if this would screw everything up again? 'Well... you see-,' Why did my throat close up like this, why now, of all times? 'When you were away, I started to feel sick sometimes and-,'

'Sick? What do you mean, sick? Have you been to a doctor yet?' Sitting back up straight, he almost pushed me of the couch in his panic, just barely wrapping his arms around me to prevent that from happening.

'It's nothing serious.' I hesitated again. Come on, woman, get a grip! 'I'm pregnant.'

Silence.

I could hear my heart drumming in my ears, the clock ticking with annoyingly loud ticks and my breathing came laboured. I guess Madonna was right, uncomfortable silence can be so loud. The look on his face almost killed me: it wasn't happy nor angry, not even surprised. His expression was blank.

O God, what did I do?

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**Hello again!  
Some numbers: this story has gotten **30 reviews**, **1481 hits, **it was favorited** 7 times, **and** 20 people **put in on their story alert.  
This is really great! So, THANK YOU!  
But, if you look at the number of hits and the number of reviews, you see a big difference. I would really appreciate it if you all would leave a review!**

**Although this chapter was nice to write- CHRIS CAME BACK!- I'm not entirely happy about it..  
I am looking for a beta reader (if you're interested, please let me know!), so when I have one, the story will probably get better.  
I want to thank you all for reading this chapter, I will try to update a little bit sooner next time!  
Byee!**


	8. Of pants that do not fit and pack meetin

**Disclaimer.** I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does.

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**08. **Of pants that do not fit and pack meetings

'_I'm pregnant.'_

_Silence. _

_I could hear my heart drumming in my ears, the clock ticking with annoyingly loud noises and my breathing was laboured. I guess Madonna was right, uncomfortable silence can be so loud. The look on his face almost killed me: it wasn't happy nor angry, not even surprised. Hs expression was blank. _

_O God, what did I do?_

* * *

'You are?' he asked incredulously. I nodded. Yes, he liked to play with the little children on the reservation who were always running around or with his little nieces. But one of his own? Maybe he just wasn't ready for that yet. My heart was drumming in my ears and I began to feel lightheaded. This was going to wrong way. Two more seconds of silence followed and I wanted to say something like 'just kidding', because this turned out to be too painful, but then I heard a joyous scream which scared me half to death.

'We are having a baby!' Christian jumped up from the couch, lifted me up and began spinning us in circles around the room. At first I was still in shock. I had thought he would run out of the door or something, maybe yell a bit at me for being, I don't know, such a thing as irresponsible, but I hadn't imagined this to happen. After I got over my shock, the only thing I could do was laugh like a maniac.

So far everything was going perfectly. I had my boyfriend back, although Sam had done everything he could to drive us apart (alright, maybe not _everything_, but he sure was acting like a bastard), we were expecting a baby and he was happy about it, and...

O no, spinning circles is not a good idea when you are experiencing morning sickness.

'Chris! Put me down! I have to throw up!'

* * *

The few days that followed were spend in eternal bliss.

Ehm... okay, let's just say we were happy. _Eternal _bliss? Holy shit, I was losing my mind and starting to sound like a lovesick puppy, which is something I do _not_ enjoy, I can tell you that.

...

Puppy? Really?

Anyway, we hadn't talked about the fight/break up-thing, only about the baby. Christian had asked me about everything; when had I first started noticing something was amiss, where did I buy the test, had I seen a doctor, what would I prefer, a boy or a girl? It felt quite nice to talk about these things with him. I had given up hope to ever have a baby, and although I acted like I didn't really care, it still hurt. This was my chance to start a new life, to finally be happy. Alright, the first step had been meeting Christian- since Sam had said finding an imprint was mostly about finding the one to get little puppies with, I had also given up hope to ever find my _true love_-, the baby made it even better, it made it complete, whole.

So I spend those days smiling like some sort of idiot and making sure to be near Christian, afraid he would leave me once more. It almost felt like I went to kindergarten again, when I didn't want to leave my mommy. Geez, did a pregnancy also give you abandonment fear?

Today tough, I had to leave Christian for a bit, because Sam had scheduled a pack meeting. It wasn't often that we had one, only when someone like Billy Black or another Elder wanted to talk to the wolves. Most things we wanted to discus came up when we were in wolf form; then we could hear everything the others thought, such as worries about the pack or new ideas. This time_ I_ was the obvious reason we had a special meeting, there would probably be a few Elders too, but since I wasn't able to shift, we had to meet in our human forms.

On one hand the thought of this pack meeting made me angry; I wasn't looking forward to seeing Sam again. After he had dumped me for my own cousin, I had been mad, as you obviously know, but now, his... well, betrayal - he kind of was my brother, although that sounded a tad bit weird and gross, if you know what I mean, and a brother doesn't try to come between his... sister? and her boyfriend – just really pissed me off. What right did he think he had to do things like that? Wasn't it hard enough to even find the courage to tell our imprints, why did he have to make it even harder by _forbidding_ us to tell them?

What. An. Ass. Even just thinking about him made me angry. Breathing in and out through my nose helped me come down a bit. Luckily, because I do not think stress is all that good for the baby.

On the other hand I was also nervous. What if the Elders thought this baby would be some kind of monster-kid (we'd just had the devil spawn-debacle, little werewolf-babies were probably not really welcome at the moment), and what if they wanted to kill me too, just like they had wanted with Bella Swan?

I knew my mother was one of the Elders, she would never let them do that; nonetheless, it would feel pretty sucky if they would even _think_ about that possibility.

Yet, the biggest thing I was scared of, were the reactions from the pack members. I know I always acted like I didn't care about them, however, when you share your mind with someone else, it kind of binds you to them. Maybe they would think I wasn't suitable enough to be a mother, or maybe they'd just laugh at me. I groaned, I was never going to survive this meeting; I would probably die from a heart attack or something.

Shaking my head lightly, I looked around to find Christian, not wanting to think about the meeting anymore. He had been a bit bummed out when I told him I was going to the doctor with my mother, but he had also understood. He knew about the somewhat weird relationship between my mother and me (although the weird part was more my doing) and he was happy that this seemed like something that would help us get more comfortable around each other, if you wanted to call it that. Since the whole wolf-thing/Sam-leaving-me/Dad-dying/ debacle I hadn't exactly been the best daughter a mother could wish for, this could be the thing that would make all those years a thing of the past.

'Christian, where are you?' I was still in my dressing-gown, not wanting to get dressed because then I had to go to the meeting. I was lying on the bed, trying to pretend I was on a deserted island, failing when my thoughts turned to all the stupid things in my life.

'What's wrong?' he asked when he entered the bedroom and saw me laying on the bed. He knew that because of the hormones in my body, I tended to worry a bit more about things than I had before, and he had been lovely about it.

(_Lovely_? Really?! Gag me please!)

'I don't know what to wear.' Well, I guess even _he_ didn't saw that coming. I noticed he pulled up his eyebrow slightly, so my suspicion had been right. Wow, he looked pretty sexy with his facial expression like this. It made me really... STOP! Those are quite inappropriate thoughts. Must. Keep. Them. Private.

'Leah, I'm a man, I don't know what you should wear either.' He came towards me and sat down on the bed. He pulled me upwards, so I could cuddle against his side.

For a few seconds I stared at him, then I pouted and threw myself backwards on the bed again. 'I don't like you anymore.'

What was wrong with me? I was acting like a four-year-old child who didn't get the right kind of cookie. Un-fucking-believable.

'Does it really matter what you wear? Maybe I could pick something for you...?' He trailed off, making his sentence sound like a question. When I looked at him, his face was overflowed with just one emotion: WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING?! I'M NOT BEHAVING LIKE A REAL MAN. MAYDAY! MAYDAY! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Actually, I am not really sure if you can call that an emotion, but seeing as I just did, it apparently was possible.

Take. That. You. Sucker.

Hesitantly he made his way to the closet, which stood on the other end of the room. I could imagine the stress he was enduring now. Good, he had gotten me knocked-up, now he should feel the consequence.

Cue evil laughter. MUHAHAHAHA!

(Don't worry, I didn't laugh out loud, I did it in my head. Christian didn't notice a thing about my evilness. Not that he would have, seeing as he was completely stressing out about the whole clothing-thing. So, nothing to worry about)

Opening the door, he turned his head to look around. This was just like in a movie where the hero had to go on a special mission to space to save the earth and where he has to leave his love, because she stays behind, waiting for him to come back. And then he also turns around to look at her for the last time, knowing there is a really big chance this will be the last time he will see her. No way! That is **so** sad!

But, this wasn't a movie, this is just my boyfriend picking out an outfit for me. Nothing scary. Unless he picked that hideous...

'No, not that one!'

I remembered exactly when I got that sweater. My auntie Marge was visiting and she was always knitting little jumpers for her dogs (normally I like those animals, but hers... They acted more like vampire dogs, they wanted BLOOD. My BLOOD!). So I told her what a cute little sweaters she made (just to be nice, they looked horrible) and before I knew it, she had made me one. Let me say, yes, sometimes I turn into some kind of dog, but this things was just ugly.

Really ugly. Very-unimaginably-super-duper-mega-_butt_ ugly. Eh. Well, you get my drift.

Unfortunately, because my mom wanted us to be polite to her, I had to wear that sweater during the rest of her stay, which lasted for two more weeks. Two weeks wearing the same unbelievably ugly sweater is _not_ something to enjoy.

At seeing my horrified face, Christian quickly put the sweater back in the closet, and I sighed in relief. Phew, luckily I managed to avoid _that_ disaster. To be honest, I am getting a bit stressed too. Does my heart always thumb this hard?

Holding up a blue blouse, he looked at me in question. I shook my head in disagreement. He sighed and pulled out something different. Again I shook my head. It isn't so hard to find me something to wear, right? How difficult can it be?

After ten or eleven more possible choices, he finally held something up for me to inspect that I liked. It was his college shirt. I was happy that he could read me so well. I _loved_ his shirts. They were big, nice and smelled like him. What more could a woman want?

Well, bigger boobs is always nice, and maybe some jewellery?

It was a rhetorical question, by the way, but who cares?

Well,-

No. Do not even think about it!

I nodded happily at him and the relieved expression on his face almost made me laugh out loud. I never knew picking out clothes for your girlfriend was such a big issue. 'Now we only need some pants.' His face dropped and he turned around to face the closet again. The whole holding-up-a-piece-of-clothing-and-me-shaking-my-head routine started again.

Only when his shoulders began to drop slightly and his hair was in such disarray from all the times he had run a hand through it, did I agree with his choice. 'Isn't this the one I held up first?' he asked while narrowing his eyes at me.

I gulped. 'No?'

With a frustrated growl he threw the pair of pants next to me on the bed and walked out of the room. 'I'm going to play some game on the play station, drink a few cans of beer, and you know what? I might even watch some porn.' I laughed at his silliness and stood up from the bed, my body heavy from the long time I had lain on the piece of furniture.

I shed myself of the heavy dressing-gown- yes, I was already wearing underwear, you perv- and grabbed the t-shirt Chris had picked out for me. It mostly smelled like washing-powder, but with my wolf-senses I could also smell a bit of Christian's scent. Before I could get high on his shirt- which would be quite weird, I think you will agree with me on that-, I put it on and brushed some imaginary dust off of it.

Everything was going pretty good, nothing to hurry or worry about.

....

That sounded rather nice, didn't it?

Ahem, sorry.

But then, after my whole morning had started with me being happy, everything went wrong.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!' I'd never thought I was able to scream this loud- or high- but I did. If I wasn't so freaked out already, this would make me feel even crazier.

'What's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?' Chris came running into the room, panic written clearly on his face. I was too shocked to tell with what had occurred.

I knew this moment would come someday, I just hadn't expected it to be this soon. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself breathing heavily and strong arms were holding me tight. I was hyperventilating and tears were dripping down my cheeks.

'I..,' the words were stuck in my throat. 'I was...'

Chris made some reassuring sounds, urging me to continue. 'My pants do not fit anymore!' I suddenly wailed. He immediately let go of me and took a step backwards, as if he had been burned when he had touched me.

Silence.

'What?' He managed to croak out, confusion and a little bit of anger dripping from that one short word. I was still hiccupping and quietly crying. This had really scared me, but Christian looked down at me with a blank look on his face. 'What?' he repeated, this time a bit firmer.

'Look.' I lifted my shirt and showed him my stomach; a little bump was visible and made it impossible to close my pants.

He stepped closer again and softly touched my stomach. 'I thought...' His eyes didn't meet mine, just looked at my belly. Then he swiftly turned around and left me alone in the room. What the... Did I do something wrong?

'Christian? What's wrong?' I ran after him, wanting an explanation for his weird behaviour and momentarily forgetting my hysteria. I followed him into the living room, were he was pacing furiously, while running his hand furiously through his hair.

'I understand that you're hormonal, that you act differently then you used to...' His words came out hesitantly, like he tried to hold back his anger but still wanted to say what he had to say. 'But when you screamed, I really thought something terrible had happened...' Oh, how sweet of him. Aren't I lucky to have someone like him being my boyfriend? 'And then it turned out to be nothing, only that your pants didn't fit.' Nothing? Ex_cuse_ me!?! 'Please, I just...'

Suddenly I felt embarrassed. Whoops, maybe I shouldn't have screamed to way I had. But I had been so shocked by the too tight pants, that I hadn't thought about what kind of effect this would have on Christian. On the other end, he had called this _nothing_. This wasn't nothing; this was a pretty serious matter! Why couldn't he see it my way too?

Torn between telling Christian sorry and be mad at him for not thinking about _my_ feelings, I went back to the bedroom to get dressed in pants that _did_ fit. Fortunately I was very keen on sweat pants so I could wear one of those. You know, one with elastic on the upper side.

Concluding it would be better to simply let him cool down a bit, I grabbed something to eat and walked out of the house, yelling at him I would be back in an hour. I knew he had heard me- I could hear him starting to walk in my direction, then stop- so I didn't wait for a reply.

My watch told me I was already a bit late for the pack meeting, thus I began to walk to Sam's house. It wasn't a very long walk- La Push isn't a very large reservation, mind you- but it made me feel a bit better. Have you ever experienced the way cool air can wash your worries away? Well, most of the time it only helped for a short time, but it still makes you feel better, even for just a few minutes. When I would get home later I would apologize to Christian- naturally expecting him to apologize to me too- but first I was going to focus on the meeting, that was the important thing right now.

Seeing Sam's house made me feel nervous for a few seconds, then I straightened my shoulders, walked to the door and knocked. The conversations going on in the house immediately came to an end and I almost growled; I hoped, for their sake, that they weren't gossiping about me.

It didn't take long before someone opened the door; it was Emily. After I had met Christian my... dislike towards her had lessened a bit, still we weren't comfortable with each other. Too much things had happened between us. I think she felt a bit embarrassed that she had stolen my boyfriend and my anger about her betrayal was, although lessened, still there. Whenever we would encounter each other, like at the grocery store, we would quickly say our greetings and then move on like nothing had happened. It was so different from the way we used to be together.

Giving Emily a small smile, I entered the house, listening to the quiet voices in the living room. They had probably figured that it was quite suspicious if they didn't talk at all when I would enter.

Morons.

Although the two packs had somewhat come together as one again, there was still a small rift between the two former packs. The wolves that had joined Jacob's pack sometimes felt like they should only listed to him, not to Sam. This could be frustrating for Sam, because at those times, he had to ask Jake to tell "his" pack members what they had to do. I always loved it when those things happened; it made Sam look pretty stupid.

So now the Jake's former pack was sitting with each other on the left side of the room, while the rest was on the other side. The Elders were stuck in the middle and sometimes looked around the room nervously, as if waiting for someone to just phase and attack one at the other side. I was relieved to see my mother there, softly talking to one of the Elders. I felt a bit safer now, with her being in the same room as I was.

Both Sam en Jacob stood up from their places when they saw me enter and walked over to me. When they saw the other doing the same thing, they both scowled, but continued. It was funny to see them both look so alike. Not that they would ever agree with me if I told them that piece of information.

'I think everyone knows about the... you know...' Jacob softly started when they had reached me. I growled when he called my baby a "you know". Was it so hard to say baby?

Sam saw my anger growing and quickly said, 'Baby. They know about the baby. But maybe you could tell them officially?' I simply nodded, not wanting to talk to him when I didn't really had to. I was still mad at him for the whole not-telling-Christian-thing. From the corner of my eye I could everyone in the room trying to look at us without raising suspicion; they did _not_ succeed.

Guessing it was better to just tell them what they wanted to know and get it over with, I stepped forward, away from Sam and Jake and started to talk.

'I'm pregnant.'

Okay, you probably thought I would tell them a bit more, they most likely expected the same thing.

Well, boohoo! Get over it.

The wolves all had different expressions on their faces; some, like Seth, were smiling, obviously happy for me, others frowned or looked around nervously, not knowing what to do with this information. Paul rubbed his neck in a helpless motion and there were even some guys who regarded with me something akin to fear. What, did they think I would pop the baby out right here, in front of them?

Most of the Elders, on the other hand, were staring at me with caution. Maybe they were thinking back to the time when that Devil-spawn was about to be born. Shit, I knew this meeting was a bad idea. Hopefully I could get out of this house before they tried to kill my baby themselves.

'First of all we would like to congratulate you and Christian with you pregnancy, Leah.' I almost jumped when Billy started to talk. Still trying to come up with ways to escape this house, I hadn't noticed the Elders softly talking amongst themselves and Billy rolling his wheelchair a bit in my direction after their talks had come to an end.

'But, we have to be cautious. You are the first female wolf to ever exist and we do not know how or if this will affect your baby.' My eyes widened in fear. What if something happened to my baby? Then it would me _my_ fault. 'Don't worry, Leah, we are more thinking about abnormalities that only doctors will notice. One of the Cold Ones, Carlisle, did examine all of you and he found some things that are different between you and normal humans. Maybe your child will show these types of things too.' Sighing in relief, I made eye contact with my mother, who smiled reassuringly at me. 'That's why we think it is best if you let Carlisle be your doctor during your pregnancy. Humans cannot find out about the wolves.'

The idea of Carlisle coming anywhere near my... well, you know, womanly parts, didn't sound very appealing to me, and I voiced my thoughts out loud. All the men turned a nasty shade of white. Whoops, maybe these kinds of subjects weren't very suited to discuss with them so nearby. Again, they just had to get over it.

'Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but it is really for the best.' Ugh, Billy should be happy that he was already in a wheelchair. Messing with a pregnant lady, not a very smart move!

'Apart from the whole uncomfortable thing, he might not even know everything about pregnancies and babies, not like a gynaecologist.' I wasn't just going to give up without a fight. I understood that we couldn't expose ourselves, but my baby was my main concern at this point.

The Elders tried to persuade me with a few more arguments, but I wouldn't budge. I wasn't going to show that leech my... you know, not if I hadn't tried a normal doctor first.

'We'll talk about it later, then,' Billy said after a while with a tired sigh.

Don't you sigh at me, mister!

All the pack members sighed as well, this time in relief. Yes, they could deal with their girlfriends' hormonal outbursts from time to time, but this was just too much for them to handle. Nitwits.

I was itching to get home soon, to Chris, so I started to slowly shuffle towards the door. 'Can I go?' I turned around to ask Jake, but Sam answered first. 'Yes, of course you can go.' Right, this was probably some kind of male, testosterone thing. I really didn't want to be a part of it. Before Jacob could say something more, I almost ran out of the door. 'Bye! Nice talking to you all.'

The walk home took me a shorter amount of time, this time I was hurrying a bit, opposed to my slow walking on the way to the meeting. When I got home, Chris was sitting on the couch, watching some kind of talk show.

His eyes showed relief when he saw me come in and I smiled at him. 'I missed you,' I said, as I flopped down next to him. Cuddling him tightly, I looked at his smiling face and my heart swelled. Yes, I was very lucky to have him!

* * *

**Hey guys!  
I'm sorry, I suffered from writer's block and most of the time I could only write one new sentence and then my inspiration would be gone.  
This chapter is quite long, but it isn't the way I _really_ wanted it to be.  
I want to thank you all for reviewing or putting me on your favorite/alert list. I means a lot to me!  
I can only hope that the next chapter will be ready sooner than this one was.  
Oh, I still haven't found a Beta Reader, so there can be a few mistakes. Forgive me.  
It always amazes me that people from all over the world read my story. Don't you also think this is a weird thought? Well, I certainly do ;)  
So, thank you for reading my story!  
Byeeee!**


	9. Doctor Hanson

**Disclaimer. **I do not own everything you recognize from the Twilight series, Stephenie Meyer does.

* * *

**09. **Doctor Hanson

Flipping through the channels on the television, I tried to not think about the pack meeting I had attended two days before. Yes, I understood why they wanted Carlisle to be my doctor, but I just didn't feel comfortable around him. Jacob had wanted the werewolves and leeches to get along well- not that we really did or anything- and I was okay with talking to them every once in a while, however, showing him my, _you know what_, that was stretching it a bit.

'Leah, what time is you doctor's appointment?' Chris sat down next to me while grabbing the remote from my hand.

'Ten thirty. I'll be fine, you can go to work.' Christian had been kind of nervous for my appointment since yesterday. I don't think he thought something would be wrong with the baby or me; he just wanted to be there with me instead of my mother. Maybe I should have asked him to come too, but I figured there would be much more of these appointments further along the pregnancy, and I didn't want the doctor's office to get too crowded.

My mother had made an appointment for me with a doctor in Port Angeles. According to her, he was very professional and would make me feel comfortable. Why she even knew a doctor who was specialized in midwifery, was a big question. I mean, it had been ages ago that Seth and I had been born, and her friends got their children around that time too. But, I trusted her and decided to go to that particular doctor.

The doorbell rang, and I knew it was my mother, who was here to pick me up. 'I'm going now, see you later.' I tried to kiss Christian on his cheek, but he grabbed my shoulders and gave me a long kiss right on the lips. For a moment my brain had melted and I couldn't even think straight. He knew he could have that effect on my sometimes, and I saw his confident smirk grow.

I shook myself out of my stupor and growled, 'Shut up.' Even when I had shut the front door and had greeted my mother, I could still hear him laugh.

* * *

We arrived at the front of the hospital at a ten fifteen, and decided to wait outside for a few minutes, even while it was raining a bit. My mother's driving, combined with morning sickness, was not a good combination. It took me five minutes to make the bile go down again and another five minutes to make sure it stayed there. If looking at the small bump I sported now and comparing that to pictures I had found on internet sites on pregnancies, I had to be almost four months pregnant. But, according to those same sites, most of the women lose the morning sickness around this period of their pregnancy. I hoped I would be rid of it soon too, because all that puking made me cranky.

The hospital wasn't big, so it took us only a short walk to find the right doctor. We had to wait a little bit, so we sat down at the waiting area, which was decorated with photos and posters of pregnant woman and babies. Two other women were there as well. One of them had a belly that was only a little bigger than mine, but she had a band around it, which made it more obvious. The other woman looked like she was about to pop that second. It was clear that she couldn't see her feet when she was standing and looking down and all in all, she didn't look very comfortable. Yet she did seem very happy. She was tightly clutching the hand of the man sitting next to her, who was whispering sweet nothings into her ear. The sight of the two of them together, lost in their own world, made my eyes water. This was so romantic.

Gaaah!

I did it again! One moment I was acting normal, and then I almost started to cry. Ugh. I laid my head on my mom's shoulder and sighed deeply. And now I was tired.

Apparently the two women were here to see different doctor then me, because when a waddling woman exited the doctor's office, my name was called. I lifted myself up from the chair and walked into the office, my mother following close behind. The room was a little smaller than the waiting area, with a desk on one side, and an examination table on the other. A thin curtain divided the two parts of the office.

When I first glanced at the doctor, who had stood up to welcome us in to his office, I had to suppress a shiver. I cannot really describe how or why, but something about him made me dislike him immensely. Knowing that my mom would be furious if I ran out the room screaming, I had to restrain myself. It was hard.

'Hello, Miss Clearwater, my name is Doctor Hanson.' He shook both my mother and mine hands, and again I found myself holding back a scream. He looked like a normal doctor, acted and spoke like one and I couldn't find anything that was wrong with him; only my guts telling me to run away, as fast and far as possible. I guessed he was about thirty years old, quite young for a doctor, with short black curls and almost black eyes. A lot of women would find him attractive; I think I even heard my mother sigh softly when she first saw him. Yuck.

Gesturing to the two chairs standing in front of his desk, he sat down again and opened a file. 'I have a short list of questions I want to ask you; not only about your pregnancy, but also about you, seeing that you are a new patient of mine. This will help me to help you.'

He asked me about my family, if there were any illnesses that ran through it, and naturally we talked about my father's heart condition. I told him I had never been seriously sick and that I hadn't had my period for a few years. He was interested in that and asked me to tell me the exact story about it.

It was hard not to tell him about _why_ I hadn't had my period, because that cause was all clear to me, but it was also a bit embarrassing to talk about my period with a stranger. 'I got my first period when I was around twelve or thirteen, but when I was around nineteen it stopped.'

I knew exactly when my periods had stopped coming. At first I had thought that it was because of the stress being a werewolf gave me. I'd asked my mom about it and she had thought the same. After a while tough, my mother had asked the Elders if it could have anything to do with my being a werewolf – without me knowing off course, I would have never allowed her to talk about something so private with a bunch of old men. They hadn't known much about female werewolves, because I was the first one to ever exist, but told her it could very well be a consequence. So, that not only turned me into a freak, but also into a defect woman. Yeah, that time of my life really sucked.

'Why didn't you go to the doctor, maybe he could have given you some meds to start your period again.' I was shaken from my thoughts by Doctor Hanson.

'I had never been a girl who knew exactly what she was going to name all of her five children, so I guess I always thought, whenever I wanted kids, I would go to a doctor and see if he can give me some medication. It's just... I was young then, hadn't found someone I wanted to start a family with.' It was easier to tell Doctor Hanson a lie, when I mixed it with some truths. At first I _hadn't_ really cared whether or not I could have children, but a few years later, something had changed and then it began to hurt knowing it could never be. Until now, of course!

The doctor nodded understandingly and wrote something on the sheet of paper lying in front of him on the desk. 'So you have not taken any medication to start your period again?' When he saw me nod, he wrote more things on the page.

'Alright, I'm going to examine you now, will you come with me this way? Your mother can join us too.' We all walked to the other side of the thin, white curtain and I sat down at the examination table. 'First I will take some blood, measure you blood pressure and do some other small tests. At the end of the consult, I will make an ultrasound.'

The tests didn't take long, but I began to feel more and more uncomfortable. His hands would touch me, but never too long. His eyes looked at my body closely, but only for medical reasons. He talked softly to me, but only about the things he was doing. Any other woman would feel quite safe with him, but not me.

'Your temperature is quite high, do you experience this often?'

And on top of it all, I was afraid he would find something weird. What if he could tell I wasn't a normal human? Wolves never have to go to the doctor, because even if a sickness could infect our bodies, the heat would immediately kill it off. The doctor leech had asked us several times if he could run some tests on us, to see if there was anything different about our blood or DNA. Some of us had agreed, and he had found a few things that differed from humans. My heart suddenly started to pump very fast, the nerves almost getting too much to handle.

It was hard to admit this, but I found myself thinking that I should've listened to the Elders. Not only could our secret get in the open, but when that happened, it was also a possibility that professors and doctors would try to do tests on us. And I was sure that if that happened, they wouldn't shy down from killing one of us to see what happened then. They could very well kill the baby, or maybe torture him. _Oh God._

Before he could ask me the same question again – I hadn't answered him- , I'd jumped up from the table. Both he and my mom regarded me with surprise. 'I'm sorry Miss Clearwater, is there a problem?' I slowly shook my head, but remained on my feet. How could I explain this?

'Um... can I talk to my mother, in private?' The doctor nodded confusingly and went out the room, but not before trying to send me a comforting smile. I just shuddered.

'Leah? What is wrong?' My mother had walked over to where I was standing and looked up at me with concern.

'I-,' It suddenly was hard to find the right words. 'He-,' As if this wasn't bad enough, I felt tears well up in my eyes. 'Something about him makes me feel uncomfortable.' I saw my mother open her mouth to say something, but I quickly continued. 'It's not something he did, it's just- I can't really explain.'

My mother looked at me for a few seconds, deep in thought. I could see she understood what I was trying to say, but she didn't really. She probably thought I was uncomfortable because he was a male doctor, or maybe because going to the doctor was a bit of a new experience for me, seeing that I had never been ill and had to go to the doctor.

'Can we go? Please?' My voice almost sounded whiny, but I just didn't want to stay with this man. 'He could find things in my blood that can expose us, we can't let that happen!' I could tell this turned her over. She sighed, a bit disappointedly, almost as if I was the naughty three-year-old that had stolen a cookie, and said, 'Why didn't you just listen to what the Elders said?'

I looked away from her, a bit embarrassed and shrugged. 'I don't know. I just don't like the way they seem to try to control every one of our lives. They are getting on my nerves.'

'We'll talk about this more later. Right now you are going to tell that man we are going, and never coming back. I will wait in the hallway.' My mother walked out of the room swiftly, leaving me behind to explain what was wrong to Doctor Hanson. Great.

* * *

'He was creepy!' That was all the explanation Chris got from me when I got back home. Barely looking up from the book in his hands, he raised his eyebrow but didn't comment, grown quite accustomed to my pregnancy-weirdness. 'Mom and I went home before the consult was over and now I did not see the baby. How stupid is that?' Again that annoying eyebrow. 'Say something!'

'Billy Black called just after you left, asking when you were going to see Doctor Cullen. He said it would be best if you went to see him, because you and he know each other already, which should make it less uncomfortable. When I told him you went to Doctor Hanson, he laughed and said, _her body will know_. I have no clue what he meant, but he hung up before I could ask him.'

Even when he was talking about something he only knew parts of, Chris still wore a little smirk on his face, as if telling me, ha-ha, it's your own fault. 'Fine, I'll call him,' I grumbled.

I called the bloodsuckers' home and the mind reader picked up the phone. When he heard my voice, I could tell he was smirking, the Elder had probably told them about me and my refusal to see the doctor leech. By the way, what was it with people and smirking today? Was it the national smirking-day?!?

'Tell the doctor I will be there at five 'o clock,' I said, before I immediately hung up. Take that, loser!

Chris, again, raised his eyebrow, but this time _I_ smirked, before jumping in his lap and kissing him fiercely. If only I could forget about seeing a doctor _again_, life was good.

Life stayed good, for about an hour or so. During that time, Chris and I cuddled and kissed on the couch, acting like two lovestruck teenagers. Unfortunately, just when we were about to engage in some heavier stuff, the phone rang.

I groaned, my head dropping to Chris' shoulder; what a mood killer. Chris reached past me to grab the telephone lying on the table next to the couch. He listened to the person on the other side of the line, before handing to phone to me. 'It's Emily.'

My eyes grew as wide as saucers, when he said that. The last few years we had barely talked, let alone called each other. What would she want?

'Hello?' My voice was showing my surprise.

'Leah? This is Emily. Eh... do you think we could discuss something? Maybe today or somewhere this week. It will not take long, so...' She sounded very unsure of herself, which was quite unusual.

'Sure?' Although, I wasn't sure why I had accepted. 'I can stop by after my doctor's appointment this afternoon.'

'O-okay.' Wow, this was getting stranger and stranger. What was wrong with Emily?

'Are you alright?' The question had slipped out before I could stop it.

'Yes, I- I'll see you later then. Bye.' Beep. Beep.

I stared at the phone for a few seconds, not really comprehending what had just happened. 'What did she want?' Chris knew about Emily and mine relationship and also was questioning the situation.

'She said she wanted to talk to me about something, but not what it was. I guess I will find that out when I stop by her house, after the appointment with the- with Doctor Cullen.'

At first this day seemed like a normal one, but I guess that was all going to change, starting with my five 'o clock appointment with a vampire. Whoohoo!

**

* * *

A/N:** Hello everybody!  
Wow, it has been a long time since I last updated this story. The truth is, I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to continue it. Somehow, when I was reading everything back, I really wasn't satisfied. But, I have decided to just finish this story and maybe rewrite it or something.  
I'm also very busy with school, right now, so don't expect a quick update. This is my final year of high school, so we have to prepare for the exams we have to take at the end of the year, which will determine if we can go to the University we want. Yes, I'm already freaking out, and the schoolyear has just started!  
Anyway. I don't think I have responded to your reviews, and I am terribly sorry! But, I am very thankful to all the people we reviewed, you're all great!  
So, I hope you enjoyed this new chapter!  
Bye!


	10. The pregnancy theory

**10.** The pregnancy theory

I stepped out of the car, which was parked in front of the big white house the Cullens lived in. The doctor leech was going to examine me and in some way it didn't make me as nervous as I thought I would of should be. My appointment with Doctor Hanson had been a mistake, I knew that now. The risk of exposure was just too big to not consider. It felt somewhat better to have a doctor that knew about my… condition, for lack of better word. Nobody was really sure if the kids of werewolves showed some werewolf-treats. Maybe my pregnancy would help my people to get more insight in werewolf-babies.

By now, no werewolf rang the bell anymore when visiting the house. Jacob had promoted vampire/wolf interaction and as little lambs, we had all complied, even when it still felt extremely weird. I opened the door and walked in. The house was silent. They probably cleared the house, I thought to myself. I knew I wouldn't feel comfortable when Edward, the mind reader would be in the house during the examination. I wasn't sure if he just heard thoughts like someone was talking or that he really saw the pictures. Anyway, I wasn't taking the risk. It would be horrifying if he saw me naked through his father's thoughts.

….

Did that sound as weird to you as it did to me?

So here I was, walking in the quiet house, feeling very uncomfortable. Every time I had been here before, at least three leeches and one or two wolves would still be here.

'Hello, anyone there?' I called. My enhanced hearing picked up a soft sound upstairs. Someone was walking on the second floor. Making my way towards the stairs, I absentmindedly picked some dust of my clothes. Like any of that matters when the man is going to see your naked … you know what. Suddenly I did feel nervous. I really, really, really hoped he would keep his thoughts about me private when the mind reader was in the room.

'Hello Leah,' the smooth voice almost made me stumble. Wow, didn't see that one coming. Well, actually I had, but then I got distracted and which lead to… Um… yeah, not really the point.

I greeted the doctor back quietly. 'If you wouldn't mind following me, I will show you to the exam room. I set it up during Bella's pregnancy.'

Great... Hopefully the room is sterilized properly, I thought to myself. As I walked into the room, I noticed it didn't look much different from Doctor Hanson's room. It probably looked like any doctor's office. Still, something in here made me feel less uncomfortable.

Doctor Cullen asked me to take a seat in the chair standing in front of the desk. Yes, I know, I called him Doctor Cullen. I figured it might me easier if I referred to him as that. He was going to help with during this pregnancy and this was supposed to be the best time of your life. If I was going through it feeling uncomfortable and all with my doctor, it would only end badly.

First Doctor Cullen asked me the same questions Doctor Hanson had before. I found it much easier to talk, because I knew he wouldn't be surprised by any of the answers I gave him. He did look curious though. I had heard from Seth that Doctor Cullen always had held a deep interest in the supernatural biologic features. Both mine and – dare I say here name in one sentence with mine – Bella's pregnancy must have really interested him. He would have a field day examining all the changes and stuff within my pregnancy. Kinda freaky, but okay... Maybe it would give me some answers too.

He wrote some things down on a sheet of paper and was silent for a little while. Suddenly I found myself curious and frightened at the same time. 'Leah, I am not completely sure how any of this could happen, but I have a theory. First I would like to physically examine you and afterwards I will tell you more about my thoughts. Is that alright with you?'

I hesitantly nodded, not quite knowing how to act around him anymore. I don't think it was caused by the raging hormones in my body – although most guys would contradict me on this part – but he made me feel a bit different about him. Before I had only seen him as the creepy leech doctor and now he was going to be my doctor during a very important part of my life. I don't know why, yet something in me was changing.

Or maybe I was just going soft.

He guided me to the examining table and told me to sit down. Again, the part that followed was the same as with Doctor Hanson before; he took some blood and did a few other tests I didn't really pay much attention to. In a few minutes I would be seeing my baby for the first time and I couldn't wait for that moment to come!

Eventually he told me, in that strangely soothing voice of him: 'I am going to set up the ultrasound now.' Giddy, I lay down and bared my stomach. The gel he put on my belly was cold, though it felt kind of nice against my warm skin. I sighed; this was the moment I had been waiting for. I guess someone who had known me during the 'depressing' part of my life, would hardly recognize me. This pregnancy had definitely changed me. These motherly feelings, I'd never thought I would experience them. And instead of being cranky most of the time, I wanted to laugh out loud as much as possible (knowing everybody would die from shock, I refrained from doing so).

So all this excitement because of the ultrasound wasn't like me at all. Yet, I was happy to let myself feel nice feelings for once. Although being with Chris had changed me already, I felt this would be the turning point in my life.

So, as you might have noticed, not only did this pregnancy make me happy, it also made me a philosopher. Not really part of the plan.

Suddenly I could hear a soft but steady sound of a heartbeat. In the time I had been contemplating the miracles of life, Doctor Cullen had pulled out the ultrasound machine – hell, does that have an official name? – and had put the device on my stomach. Now we could hear the baby's heartbeat. Furthermore, on the screen I could also see a tiny little baby. Well, it didn't really look like a baby yet, it was more like a blurry thing, but still, it was my baby. The doctor pointed a few things out on the monitor and suddenly I could see a bit of its arms and legs. My heart swelled when he told me this baby was totally fine; it even looked 'strong for his age', whatever that meant.

'Do you want me to print a photo for you?' I eagerly nodded, still watching the screen. It was fascinating that a person was growing inside my body. It still felt unreal to some extent. Doctor Cullen froze the screen and pressed a few buttons before a photo was printed. 'Here you go,' he said when he handed the little photo over to me. He then wiped the gel off my stomach, while my eyes were possessively on the image.

'Do you want to come over to the desk again? I can tell you more about yours and the baby's health. Also I will explain you my theory on your pregnancy.' When I we were sitting again, he took one look at his papers again and started to talk.

'Because there is so little information on werewolves, I like to observe the packs and come up with my own theories. I know this sounds crazy, but you interest me the most. Never has there been a female wolf and I can't help but wanting to know more about how and why this happened.'

Was it too late to run?

'Next to you being some kind of a miracle, imprinting is a mystery to all of us. I think it has worked out differently for you because you are a woman. The male and female anatomy is very different, even with non-wolves. You have the best traits from your human and wolf from combined. You have the extra abilities, like sensitive hearing and the ability to change form. Yet you have kept the female elegance, something that would have totally changed if you had changed the same way the boys did.'

I had to suppress a shudder when I thought about how I could have looked. Probably like someone who used a lot of steroids. The guys all had big muscles and six-packs and stuff. Although I was strong and muscled too, my body was better proportioned.

'You looks, so to say, helped you with finding an imprint. For you imprinting doesn't only mean finding a 'mate', I think it made you ready '_to_ mate'. I know this sounds too animalistic, but well, you _are_ a werewolf.' He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, which almost made me smile. 'So finding Chris was your only way of ever getting pregnant.'

'But why haven't I gotten my period sooner during the time Chris and I had been together?' I asked him.

He thought about my question for a moment. 'That I am not too sure about. Maybe because the menstrual cycle makes a female fertile only one part of the time, while your body was ready to mate immediately after finding your imprint. That raises the question: why didn't you get pregnant right away then? Again, this is a mystery to me. What I do know is that you are much more connected to your body that normal humans are. Maybe your body wasn't ready to carry a baby. With no other cases to research, it is hard to come to definite conclusions.'

I thought about what he had said. It sounded logical, but then again, I was no doctor and didn't have much knowledge on things like this. 'So I can't shift anymore but I still run a high temperature. Is this the mix of 'good traits'?

He nodded. 'Your warmth will protect the baby, while shifting could hurt it.'

Continuing in a softer tone he said, 'Leah, I have a question for you. It might make you feel a bit uncomfortable but I would like to follow you during this pregnancy. Of course I will be your doctor first; I just would like to gain more information about your situation and so. Would you mind if I ran some blood tests every few months and examine you more closely?'

I wasn't so sure about all of this. Him being my doctor ok, but him using me as a study case… No, I didn't like that one bit. Yet the look on his face told me something else. He didn't see me just as a study case, he was truly interested in finding out more about the shapeshifters, probably wanted to help them to gain more information about our weird DNA and stuff. The smile on his face when I gave my consent made my heart flutter a bit. Ugh, stupid pregnancy hormones!

'Maybe next time you want to bring Chris with you to the check up?' This question wasn't expected. I mean, how could he ask if I wanted to bring a human to the vampire lair? 'Jasper and Alice could go hunting in Canada for the day and the others can go to Edward and Bella's house. It's no problem.'

I just gave a tiny nod before standing up. 'We'll see.'

The Doctor Leech walked to the door. 'I'm glad everything is going so well for you, Leah. I know you went through some hard times.' Again I was rendered speech less.

'Not that it is any of your business, but… thank you.' God, that was hard! I almost had to squeeze that last part out. I walked away to the car then; this love-the-vampire-day had taken long enough.

The only thing I needed to do today was going to Emily's. Then I could crawl into bed and stay there for a long, long time. Well, until dinnertime anyway.

* * *

**Hi everyone! I am so sorry it took me such a long time to update. I have been swamped with schoolwork. It really isn't funny anymore. Luckily I only have one week of school left, then I'm free for four weeks to study and then I have to sit for my exams. So I will be busy for the next few weeks but maybe I can write when I need to relax for a while.**

**Anyway, I'm not sure if I replied to your reviews, so I wanted to thank everyone for reviewing the last chapter and for adding me to their favorites/alert list. You are great!**

**And I am still looking for a Beta Reader. If you want to beta read my story, I would really appreciate it. Of course I will be looking on the Beta Read section of the website too, but the few I had asked, were too busy to take on new stories… -sigh-**

**So I hoped you liked this chapter. It wasn't as long as I would like it to be, but my inspiration has left me a bit… So, sorry about that.**

**Please keep reviewing; it makes me feel super happy!**

**Byee!**


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